Always. Always. Always.

Jilly had another seizure yesterday.

Another trip in the ambulance.

Another visit to the emergency room.

This time I caught it right away and was able to get rescue meds into her immediately.  They didn’t stop it, but they slowed things down…enough that it “only” took 3 more rounds of medication to get it stopped.  (The longer a seizure lasts, the harder it is to stop and the more meds it takes to make it stop…and vice versa.)

The good news is that we think we’ve identified another trigger for her: physical pain.  Both this time, and the last time, she had fallen and hurt herself.  It looks like the pain of bumping her head/body/whatever triggers an episode.  (Another trigger of hers that we’ve figured out is the stomach flu.)

This is good because we are beginning to piece together the puzzle and while it’s a crazy (terrifying) process, we are feeling like we are beginning to understand what to look for and when to keep a close eye on her.

The bad news is that we have to try to keep our toddler from falling and/or from getting the flu.

Should be easy, right?

I wish I was exaggerating or being dramatic when I told you that it’s 3:30 in the afternoon right now and she has been hysterically, unconsolably crying since 9:30 a.m. with only a 30 minute break.

The day after a seizure is the hardest part of it all.  She’s miserable and hurting and coming off a lot of drugs and too young to know how to deal with feeling so yucky.

I’m tempted to cry alongside her.  I’m tempted to scream.  My chest is raw with little scratch marks, my arms are tired from holding her hands down as she tries to hit me, and I’ve peeled her teeth off of me more than once today.

But you know what?

She’s my girl.  She feels awful.  She doesn’t know how to cope.  And I’m her mama.  We’re in this together.

But most of all?

God is good.  Always.  No matter what.

I should tattoo that on me somewhere.

 

**Updated to add that the millisecond her Dad walked in the door from work, she not only stopped crying for him…but allowed him to feed her, drank water for him, and altogether changed her tune.  Thanks kid…appreciate that.  Mental note: Dad has to take the day post-seizure off from now on.

(If you want to print out that graphic up above, feel free by clicking HERE.)

 

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jeannett
I'm a mom to four. A wife to one. I believe in story. I love telling you about mine and would love to hear yours. There's really no sense in wasting our suffering and not sharing in each other's joy. We're all in this together...even if it doesn't always feel like it.
jeannett
jeannett

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Comments

  1. 1

    Hugs to you…all of you. I’m so sad that she has to go through that – very scary for your sweet girl and for you guys! But so glad that God gave her you two as parents who seem so capable and faithful to help carry her through! Amazed as always….
    Kirsten´s last blog post ..Rainy day

  2. 2

    He is so, so very good. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t know that he was there and supporting me. I’m sorry your sweet baby has to go through this, what an awful thing for you as a Mama to have to see her struggle with. I’m praying our Lord will calm your sweetie and help the puzzle become more clear.
    Miranda´s last blog post ..Lydia is one

  3. 3

    OH honey, big fat virtual hugs for you! My heart hurts reading this; praying for guys.
    Jennifer´s last blog post ..FUNNY Stuff :)

  4. 4

    im so sorry, friend. I can imagine it would be super difficult to deal with the meds, the pain, etc. you’re a good mama. thanks for sharing the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful with us. He IS good all the time :) also, praying for your sweet girl.
    Aly Allen´s last blog post ..don’t apologize for it: some thoughts on creativity

  5. 5

    God is good all the time. I am sorry you are having to go through this journey but your strength and beauty through it is amazing.

  6. 6

    So so sorry that you both have to go through this. You are an incredible mom.
    Kaylee@life chasers´s last blog post ..north dakota resident.

  7. 7

    Oh Jilly…this hurts my heart. Praying for peace for you all.
    kodie´s last blog post ..Mother’s Day 2012

  8. 8

    That sucks, Jeannett. God IS good all the time, but it still sucks. Praying for Jill and for you.

  9. 9

    Im so glad she’s better! I have a love hate feeling about how my kids immediately stop crying or behave when Dad walks in :-). Your spirit and positivity is awe inspiring. I’ll be praying for Jilll, and the rest of you too.
    Mari´s last blog post ..Summit VIII- Part 2

  10. 10

    Oh sweetie – what a day. Or two days. Or last few years. My heart goes out to you, and I am praying for you, Jill and your family. Seeing and trusting God’s provision in the midst of the yucky is so hard, yet your determination to do so brings Him so much glory. Thank you for sharing your story. <>

  11. 11

    Praying, praying, praying for you. Crying for you and Jill. Praying for peace and rest.
    Kate Eschbach´s last blog post ..National Mom’s Night Out {2012}

  12. 12
    Curvy Everyday says:

    I am so sorry. Poor little thing. You are a strong Momma. And It’s moms like you that kind find grace and gratitude in painful times that amaze and inspire me. I’m glad she is feeling better. I’ll make sure to say a prayer for you also. Hugs.

  13. 13

    ‘He’ really always takes care of you. I used to (as a child) have seizures that were triggered by physical pain. I scared the pants off of my parents on quite a few occasions. Let’s hope that your wee one grows out of them as I did.
    {Adventuresindinner}´s last blog post ..Why didn’t I make this sooner?

  14. 14
    Karrie Fabricio says:

    You are so right! God is ALWAYS good! HE doesn’t give us more than we can handle, and he knew that you are the BEST MAMA for Jilly. Love you all and prayers always, Aunt Karrie

  15. 15

    You and your family are brave, God bless you! Your positive attitude is such an inspiration to me.
    Linda´s last blog post ..Yogurt & Chia Seeds

  16. 16

    Praying for you all. Big hugs!
    Heather @ Glitter and Gloss´s last blog post ..Life in Phone Pictures

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