When Matthias Was Born – Lisa Leonard {special needs}

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Lisa is a dear friend of mine.

In fact, her family was probably the first I truly got to know that had a special needs child.

Little David made such an impact on me…and I honestly, can say that much of how I handled any of Jill’s diagnosis were made 1,000 times easier because I first came to know and love Lisa’s family…and see that it was beautiful and perfect no matter what.

I know it sounds kinda cheesy, but I truly believe that God placed this sweet family in my path years before I knew I’d be walking my own path.

Lisa posted this on her own blog a while ago, and it totally resonated with me.

What many don’t realize, but every special needs mama deals with, is how it all affects the siblings.

I loved how Lisa put it all into words, and with her permission, have reposted her for our series.

* * * *

just 10 months after david was born we got pregnant again. we felt ready. 10 months of grieving, adjusting, making it work and falling in love with david felt more like 10 years. i think time moves slower when you’re in crisis.

we were considered a high-risk pregnancy because of david’s disability, but everything went incredibly well. we got pregnant easily. all the tests came back normal. all the ultrasounds looked perfect. even his delivery was easy. and when he was born it was like relief swept over my whole being. we had a healthy baby. we were so thankful!

if david’s birth story is about watching hope grow, matthias’ birth story is about finding peace and healing.

we brought our healthy baby boy home from the hospital and introduced him to david. and david wanted nothing to do with his new brother. he didn’t want to touch him or even look at him. and then the relief was gone and the guilt took over.

do i love matthias more than david?

will i have enough time to give david the attention he needs?

will matthias resent having a brother with a disability?

questions questions questions. and more guilt. how did this new baby fit into our family? everything was all out of whack again and i was devastated.

slowly we got to know matthias and fell in love. slowly we started to develop new routines. and slowly i began to feel that i could love each of my boys for who they were and stop comparing them.

i started to realize that the guilt was eating me from the inside out and it wasn’t doing anyone any good.  it wasn’t wrong to be grateful that matthias didn’t have a disability. i realized having a healthy child freed me to enjoy david and his developmental stages while enjoying matthias’ more typical growth and learning.

i am so thankful we had matthias when we did. he brings so much joy, imagination and kindness to our family. he is full of love and self-confidence. the boys love each other and make each other’s lives better.

matthias, your life has brought joy and healing to my heart. i love you.

friends, if you have children, did anything about motherhood surprise you? did you have any unexpected emotions?

* * * *

Have you read the other stories yet?

Have you shared your story?

In conjunction with each series, we also host a fundraiser…in this case benefitting the Free Wheelchair Mission.

Have you given…even $1…one…not even ten…to help someone on the other side of the world that doesn’t have the resources so many of us enjoy?

It’s quick, it’s easy, it’s a great way to start your week.

Help transform a life.

We can do this together…it’s not all on you…but if you keep assuming everyone else is giving…well, we all know how that goes.  ;)






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I'm a mom to four. A wife to one. I believe in story. I love telling you about mine and would love to hear yours. There's really no sense in wasting our suffering and not sharing in each other's joy. We're all in this together...even if it doesn't always feel like it.

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  1. 1

    Oops…just left this comment with the wrong website/blog!! Please, please, please delete the first one!! Thanks :) :)

    Lisa – I’ve been quietly following your blog for a while now (as well as purchasing your beautiful jewelry for some very important ladies in my life!). Thank you for sharing your heart. Thank you for always sharing it so transparently. I am not a special needs mama myself, but for some reason God has really placed special needs kiddos and their families on my heart.

    Jeannett – it is not cheesy at all–not even one tiny bit–that you feel the way you do about meeting Lisa and her family. God knows.