Meant For It All Along – Amy Jupin {special needs}

Today continues our series of guest bloggers sharing their story of special needs.

Amy is smack in the middle of big big things.

I was so excited when she agreed to write here.

I’m so encouraged by her obedience.

* * * *

hi there.
my name is amy and i blog over at one day at a time.
i blog about all kinds of fun stuff but mostly about my sweet family.
i have been blessed with three little ones.
my youngest, a little boy named ben, was born in march of 2007.
shortly after his birth we learned that ben has down syndrome.

having ben was a game-changer–his little soul worked magic in our hearts and brought a deeper kind of love that wasn’t there before he came.
we all quickly realized that down syndrome was not the end of our world.
no way!
down syndrome actually brought out the best in all of us.
we are better people because of ben, and loving his spirited little self became our new normal.

fast forward a couple of years…
a friend i made through blogging sent me a message on facebook asking me to check out her blog.
imagine my surprise–she is a mom of five, and she soon to be six!
but this time is different, this time she is adopting!

posted on her blog, a sad picture of a lonely little girl is staring back at me.
she is three years old, and her having down syndrome is a death sentence.
in her country, people with disabilities are shut away, locked up for life, because they have no place in their society.
how can this be?
this is the 21st century.
why does still happen? why?

over the next few months i watched her family work to free her.
i read lisa’s blog as she described the process and the long journey to bring her daughter home.
i cried many, many nights as i read her story, longing to understand why this happens to these children.
when alina came home, i cried buckets and buckets of tears, tears laced with relief and joy.
and i’ve continued to watch, in awe, the transformation that this little girl has gone through, a girl that no one wanted.

her family saw her worth and worked long and hard to save her life.
watching alina’s story unfold, i was witnessing the hand of God.
and it moved me more than anything else ever had, ever in my entire life.

i visited the website reece’s rainbow many, many times during my friend’s journey.
seeing the faces of so many little children, children like my own son ben, oh, it was so hard.
i would close the website and feel such sadness, such terrible, mind-numbing sadness.
i would pray, each time, for all the children.
for their safety and their futures.

one day i actually printed out a picture of a little boy and set it on my nightstand.
i wanted to pray specifically for him and to be able to look at his face while i prayed for him.

his clock was ticking loudly–he was soon to be four, the age when orphanages begin the paperwork process of transferring the children to mental institutions.
the prison where they remain for the rest of their short lives.

i prayed for months, for a family to come forward for him, for his caregivers to realize his worth and potential, and spend some extra time working with him.
i prayed for him to grow strong and be blessed, for the Lord to plant a seed in a momma’s heart and to grow some love there…for him.

my prayers then turned to me.
i begged the Lord, i cried and i begged, to understand what i could do to help.
i couldn’t watch him be transferred.
he needed a family.
oh please Lord, please help guide me. please show me what you want me to do.
please show me why my heart is hurting so badly.

several months later, i realized that things were most certainly happening.

the Lord was blessing that little boy.
He had already chosen his momma and planted a seed in her heart.
it had been growing there all along, dormant for years yet slowly awakened by the love-light that had worked it’s way in.

the seed was planted in my heart long before i had my son ben.
it had been long before i met lisa through blogging.
it was there long before i ever stumbled upon reece’s rainbow, before i ever saw alina’s sad picture and watched her transformation, and long before i ever saw the sweet little face of a boy that was tatooed on my heart.
it was me–i was meant to be his momma long before i ever knew it.
but He meant for it all along.

a little face staring back at me every night on my nightstand will soon become my son.
he will belong to me.
he will have a chance at a long, happy, family-filled life.
he will be loved and cherished.
we have been working to bring him home since april.
he has two brothers and a sister and a family waiting for him.
he doesn’t know it yet but he is already so loved.
i can’t wait to watch him BLOOM.

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jeannett

I'm a mom to four. A wife to one. I believe in story. I love telling you about mine and would love to hear yours. There's really no sense in wasting our suffering and not sharing in each other's joy. We're all in this together...even if it doesn't always feel like it.

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