While I was in So. Cal last week, I, of course, went to the mall.
We don’t have a mall here.
Wait, that’s untrue.
We do.
But it’s a very poor excuse for a mall. So it totally doesn’t count in my book.
And my book is all that matters, right?
While at this indoor panacea of all things fabulous and amazing, I watched in horror at what many of the young ladies were wearing.
And I decided that either:
a) I’m officially old.
b) the trends really are just UGLY. No matter how old I am.
Here are a few things I could seriously go my whole life without ever taking part in:
SKINNY JEANS
It’s just not flattering.
I saw tall, lean, perky teen girls…
and I thought “Sweetie, you have a rockin’ body…and it doesn’t even look good on YOU…that’s rough.”
And then there were the girls wearing them who, um, for lack of a better word: shouldn’t.
The ONLY time I’ve seen skinny jeans worn in a “good” way is when they are paired with a long tunic or dress. Then they act more like leggings.
Or when you tuck them into tall boots.
But even then it’s sketchy.
And, boys…there is never, EVER, EVER an okay reason to wear them.
Ever.
BOOTY SANDALS
I mean really people???
This trend has single-handedly convinced me that women, do, in fact, dress for other women.
Because there is no way a man would see a woman wearing these and think “Man! That chick is hot! And she’s got a great style!”
No, he’s probably thinking:
“That chick is hot. But maybe she has cankles….”
See, this girl is a FOOT MODEL. And they look stupid on her. That’s a sign that it’s not okay.
SHREDDED JEANS
Look, I’m not that old that I can’t understand that a pair of strategically torn jeans is cool.
In fact, yes, I can see there being times you actually PAY for torn jeans and they are cute.
That’s not what I’m talking about.
I’m talking about jeans that are so shredded that you are basically naked, save for a few strips of denim thread.
It’s weird, creepy, and again, unflattering.
Go Big or Go Home should not apply here.
LITTLE GIRLS WEARING HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE SAYINGS ON THEIR SHIRTS
This one scares me.
And it makes everything seem so clear.
I have no pictures.
But things like:
I love Boys
Boy Crazy
Party Animal
Bratty Princess
Your Boyfriend is Cute
…emblazoned on their pale pink tees, all a-glitter.
I even saw one that said
“I’m the Pretty One”
Vile.
On so many levels.
I don’t know what’s worse:
-that parents BUY this stuff for their 6 year old
or
-that it actually COMES in 6 year old sizes.
Going to the mall in Los Angeles makes me tremble in fear for what the trends will be when my kids are teens.
Excuse me, I should go now.
I have to go chain them to their rooms for all of eternity.
What trends make you quake in your booty sandals??? Did I miss one?
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AMEN to your post.
And let me add my list:
shorts with words across the bottom…especially JUICY
cropped tops…not good for anyone
low rise jeans…I don’t want to see your tramp stamp, booty dimples, panties or least of all your fold line
Omgoodness!!!! I am so thrilled (so thrilled!) that you agree with me! My 14 year old son seems to think skinny jeans are cool…for him. What’s worse, is when he wants to roll them up a little…like halfway up his calf. I won’t let him leave the house like that. And I won’t buy them if they are anything but traditional shades of blue/gray/black…. Yuck. Yuck even on tall, lean, perky teen girls. We typically buy his jeans at Pac Sun and to my sheer delight…this year he chose “Rincon Straight”. Ahhh. Happy mama.
Oooh….adding one: Ginormous sunglasses. Big is fine. Even really big. But the kind that are TWICE the size of your face….not so much.
Um, yeah – skinny jeans….really?! Why don’t they just make denim-colored stretch pants? I mean hey, they did that with DIAPERS! Have you even thought about a)attempting to put them ON and b) wearing them all day?! Hello? Chafing anyone?
I’m gonna go blow up some big bubbles for my kids now.
Lindsay´s last blog post ..She Sells Sea Shells
Amen! You are preaching to the choir!
I have daughter who is a girls size 12. I would like it if I could find clothes appropriate for her age. They are all hoochie-momma and high heels…why are they trying to make our kids grow up so fast?!
Then, for my son, once you get out of the little boys sizes it is all skull and crossbones and skater boy. So sick of it!!
what about those NASTY vibram finger toe shoes? straight out of the swamp thing. it makes me gag just to type the words.
Jessica Johnson´s last blog post ..Back To Sanity
I totally agree with you. I know nothing about fashion. I especially can’t stand the inappropriate pre teen girl clothes with the sayings and not enough material.
Way worse that the skinny jean is JEGGINGS!
http://thequickanddirtydirty.com/2009/12/12/trend-alert-jeggings/
Jodi´s last blog post ..Coming Up For Air
hehehe. skinny jeans on men/boys i DO.NOT.GET. the boot sandal things crack me up too. and, something tells me you would have seen some GREAT fashion trends at your local “mall”!
Brianna´s last blog post ..Boots no more
You know…while apparently harmless, I can’t stand that peace signs are all over everything in my 6-year-old’s size. Last year, for her 6th birthday, she received a few gift cards to a trendy store. $50 in cards, to be exact. Want to know what we walked out of there with? 2 t-shirts and a bangle bracelet. And I had to pay the tax out of pocket. I wouldn’t let her pick out anything with a peace sign on it. She said, “What’s a peace sign?” To which my answer was, “Exactly my point.” *sigh*
By the way, I agree with everything you mentioned. I must be old too. Just ask my OB. Me and my advanced maternal age. (I’m not bitter, don’t worry…) :P
Jennifer´s last blog post ..Crochet Hair Bows and Another Baby Hat
Oh heavens…trends can be so ridiculous. I don’t (and won’t!) wear skinny jeans, hole-y jeans, etc. And the jeggings? I think they’re ridiculous!
Also, it’s not really a “trend”, but when I see any kind of leggings worn AS PANTS – not okay.
Jacky {The Sweetest Petunia}´s last blog post ..color love cranberry
That picture of Brandy’s jeans makes my eyes bleed. Is that for real??? Maybe she should wear them with this montstrosity that miley and gwen were caught in public in. http://www.thefashionpolice.net/2010/07/case-closedmiley-cyrus-and-gwen-stefani-in-matching-shreddy-tees-by-obestity-speed.html
NOT OKAY.
Don’t get me started on the black lace and chains garbage that fills the little girls sections. Thank you JC for uniforms. The end.
Julie´s last blog post ..birds of the air a giveaway
yup, skinny jeans should only come in sz O. Leggings should not be worn with clothes that don’t cover your butt. If you are a woman, have some self respect and don’t wear that “Trojan Ecstasy” shirt out in public (true story). I also hate strategically ripped and resewn tee-shirts. I love making daddy’s old tee-shirts into dresses for Eliannah but some teens are making tee- shirts into peep shows and minis. Don’t, I sounding crotchety? I actually do love fashion – from a distance (a very very long distance). I’m glad I’m not the only one that doesn’t “count” the Santa Maria mall.
YES YES YES YES YES I Hear you!
I’m in my mid twenties and I feel old when i see “fashions” like this – and the “sexy” clothes for little kids makes me so mad!
OK, first of all, what mall were you at, girl?? I love people-watching… I need to go there. Next time, take pictures of all the offenders then post them here with those black boxes over their eyes, you know, so they’re anonymous. I just watched Eat, Pray, Love tonight so in the words of the immortal Julia Roberts, “I’ll stick with my big-lady pants.”
I was just at the mall and saw a shirt that said I love shoes and boys. I wondered who would buy that for their teen. I have 2 girls 11 and 13 and it is so hard to buy clothes for them. Esp. dresses…they are all way too short.
I wonder how they put the jeans with the holes on…I would never get my leg in the right place.
Thanks for the laugh
I went shopping with my younger, fashion forward sister this past weekend. Needless to say, I bought nothing at any of the stores she went to. I am rather young, but I still just don’t get it…jeggings and booty sandals, really?? These people just look ridiculous!! I am scared to see what will be “in fashion” when my daughter starts dressing herself!!
Oh man, I’m so with you. Oh and by the way what’s with these jegging things?! I found out that one of my old coworkers has a pair and just started laughing. Although, out of everyone she can probably pull them off!
Bethany´s last blog post ..Last Year
I am in total agreement. Since when did all little girls become ‘princesses’? !!!!!!
my daughter had a school program and one girl was wearing shorts with JUICY across the butt.
TO A PROGRAM!!!
I am in complete agreement with you on each and every item. I would add gladiator sandals to the list. They just aren’t cute.
Just saw a shirt in size 5/6 (LITTLE boys) that said “Watch Me Not Care” with two “L”/Loser hand signs. Yes….that is TOTALLY the attitude I want to instill in my little guy. Nice.