Midwifery 101

We’ve officially decided to go with a home birth with a midwife.

Quit freaking out, it’s really not that weird.

Why would we go this route?
There’s a few reasons, but short of writing a dissertation, I’ll give you the brief: 1) I don’t believe that pregnancy is a sickness or some sort of “condition”. It’s a natural event that has been occurring for hundreds of years all around the world. Our bodies are made to do this, and in most cases, should do so without much trouble. (Just wait, I’ll get into the details in a minute). I’m also the kind of person who doesn’t take medicine unless I absolutely have to. I’m not one of those weirdo scientologists or anything. I just figure that God gave me an immune system (or reproductive system in this case) and I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt and let it at least TRY first. If, that cold or flu is unusually persistent, sure, I’ll take some Sudafed. But I’ll see if my body can do it on it’s own for a few days first. (I believe that your immune system is like a muscle and not using it makes it weaker). The same philosophy goes for pregnancy. Let’s not go to the hospital (which is pretty extreme if you stop to think about it in any other scenario) and see what happens first. 2) I don’t want to stay over night or take medicine anyway, so why not just try it in the comfort of my own home first? I don’t have to listen to beeping machines, the smell of iodine, random people looking at my crotch, and being in that white and highly uncomfortable environment. Why should Andy have to sit in a stiff chair for hours, when he can sit next to me on the bed, and heck, even grab a Twinkie out of the pantry if he gets hungry?

But what if there are complications? I have a sister who….[insert awful pregnancy story here]…
We had an orientation with the midwife prior to making a decision. While I thought the idea of a midwife was fun, when I was finally pregnant and the decision really was here, I had second thoughts. I mean, what if something goes wrong? Will the baby die? Will I die? So, I admit that I went to this orientation conflicted. On one hand, I liked the idea, but on the other hand, my motherly instinct kicked in and I began to worry (which, by the way, is pretty out of character for me…I’m not much of a worrier). I asked all these questions, and left the orientation pleased as punch and feeling 110% comfortable with midwifery and home birth. I’ll give you the bullet points just because it’s easier:

  • She shows up with everything but the kitchen sink. No, she doesn’t just walk in with two towels and a catcher’s mitt. She has a doppler for monitoring the heartbeat, IV bags in the case you need fluids or even blood. She can do her own episiotomies (?), and a whole slew of other equipment.
  • She has performed over 500 births. Of those, no dead babies and no dead moms. 2% have ended up needing C-Sections, and 8% needed to go to a hospital after all. She has four doctors that she uses in the case of emergencies. She’s been doing this for 25 years and is certified by the medical board as a licensed midwife.
  • You go to a midwife more often throughout your pregnancy than with a doctor and those visits are usually longer and more exhaustive. She’s looking for more detailed information, since there isn’t the “safety” of a surgical room down the hall. So, most times, she actually knows ahead of time if you’re even a candidate for a home birth. Women’s bodies are supposed to follow a pretty standard route through pregnancy, so it’s pretty obvious if something isn’t progressing as it should (if you know what you’re looking for).
  • And, just as a side note, we have known her and her husband socially for about three years. So, it’s not like we just opened up the yellow pages and this is a complete stranger. They were in a couple of our Bible studies, and they live on the airport that Andy’s business is located. Andy sees them at least weekly, and they’ve been to our house for dinners and bbq’s over the years.

So, see? It’s not that crazy weird. There’s definitely an “escape route” and her track record is darn good. Think about it: FIVE HUNDRED births! That’s a LOT of babies. She’s certainly not a novice at this whole thing. She comes to the house two weeks before the due date to check the place out (although she’s already been to our house), and drop a bunch of stuff off. And then she comes back 24 hours and 48 hours after you have the baby to check on you and the kid. Dad gets to “catch” the baby (if he wants), which is pretty cool…although Andy said it kinda scares him, so he hasn’t decided if he wants to yet. :)

Anyway, that’s the deal. I know some of you are probably still completely unconvinced, but that’s okay. You can have your own babies however your little heart desires. For us, this is definitely more our style, and we’re both totally at peace with it. If it weren’t so weird, I’d say you should all come over and watch just to prove it, but I don’t need you all to know me so well. Christmas would be really awkward afterwards, don’t you think?

P.S. Some of you have said you don’t know how to comment, but want to. You can just select “Anonymous” and then type a comment…just make sure you sign your name so I know who it is. That way, you don’t need a blogger account.

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jeannett
I'm a mom to four. A wife to one. I believe in story. I love telling you about mine and would love to hear yours. There's really no sense in wasting our suffering and not sharing in each other's joy. We're all in this together...even if it doesn't always feel like it.
jeannett
jeannett

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Comments

  1. 1

    Awesome. Thanks for the bullet points. I’d never really heard the arguments for a home birth before. I really like the idea of having a midwife that will do more thourough examinations.
    I have two questions. I’m sort of embarrassed about the first one, but seriously it’s my biggest worry about having a home birth.
    Does she clean up all the mess for you?
    Second, I’m curious if she is also a breast feeding coach? (the one at the hospital was not very helpful – I went to see Andrea Herron afterwards, she was awesome).

    We’ll be cheering you on!

  2. 2

    Lara,
    Yes, she does all the clean up for you. Don’t be embarrassed, it was one of my questions! And yes, she also helps with breastfeeding. (Oh, and yes, it is Brenda Ramler).

  3. 3

    Your hilarious. And thorough. That’s just great that you want to do a home birth, but what’s even better is how at peace you are. It really isn’t anyone else’s business, and I too know Brenda and would trust her opinion and expertise. I am a hospital girl myself. If I hadn’t had two miscarriages things might be different. But I’m a little on the extra safe side because of that. I won’t request the room next door to the NIC-U at Sierra (first of all, we prefer French by far), but I feel better about a hospital. I don’t trust my body like I should, though this last delivery (Nehemiah) should have proved to me that my body can definitely do this without a hitch (or drugs). I do have to admit I like the idea of drugs being handy if it’s going to be a long haul. And I did like having nurses weight on me hand and foot, with plentiful ice packs and such. And I didn’t even deal with hospital food because I had so much family around willing to run out and buy me whatever I wanted. I only ever stayed the minimal one night because there’s no way to sleep there, that’s for sure. You’ll enjoy your comfy bed. Speaking of babies, mine is hollering. As much as I’d like to just go on and on having an adult conversation on the internet here, that little one is needing me.

    Thanks for the bullets. I admit I was a little hesitant to read a long blog. The bullets kept me going. hee, hee.

    kristen borland

  4. 4

    ha!! I liked the comment about Christmas being wierd… it made me laugh out loud!

    I really liked learning about home birth. Didn’t really know much about it and had always planned on going to a hospital and be pumped full of happy drugs when that time finally came for me; now I am thinking a home birth might be an option and will keep it in mind to pull out in a few years.

    Hope your Christmas was good!

    Carrie Borsgard

  5. 5

    Gee, thanks a lot for referring to Scientologists as “weirdos.” It’s nice to see such a level of tolerance and understanding from a midwife.

    If you want to learn about Scientology view on childbirth, go to the Silent Birth Method website. (That is of course unless you think that what you read in the Nat’l Inquirer is all you need to know about it.)

    Sincerely,
    Greg
    Scientologist and proud of it
    http://www.liveandgrow.org

  6. 6

    Greg,
    I’m not a midwife, I’m just using one. This blog isn’t about Scientology, birth choices, or any other such thing…it’s about my pregnancy to keep family and friends in the loop. But if you’re really all that interested in my mood swings and weight gain, keep reading!

  7. 7

    Ah, hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

    How did you draw that comment to you’re blog, wife?

  8. 8

    Jeannett – I was wondering the same as Andy. Is this guy just randomly reading any reference to Scientology? A little paranoid, I think! Thanks for all the home birth info. As I told you before – my births were relatively easy, so don’t listen to those horror stories. I agree that pregnancy and childbirth are not diseases, and as long as this woman has all the possibilities covered, I’m sure you’ll be fine! I did like my demoral during labor, though. Love you – MK/Mom

  9. 9

    Jeanette,

    I checked the “silent birth method” website a little, and i have to say, I screamed a ton with Nehemiah, and he’s the happiest, easiest baby in the world. So I highly recommend the screaming!

    :)
    kristen

  10. 10
    Anonymous says:

    dude your crazy.. but you know your really brave and an all american girl….. ill be standing near by with some medication ill sneak it you really want it…. lol
    diana

  11. 11

    Jeannett I’m a real jerk and haven’t emailed you the guestlist yet, btwn. new years and a busy day yesterday I plumb forgot, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. TOMORROW. I will definitely do it TOMORROW.