I’ve mentioned before that Henry is doing a skate competition series right now.
It’s 7 Saturdays with a competition at all of the 7 different skate parks in our county. It’s been an interesting change of pace for our family. Andy and I have to split up because the girls have ballet, so it’s all weird and hectic and makes me feel like our family is divided.
But, it’s 7 weeks. We’re about halfway through.
I won’t miss the hustle, but I do enjoy being there.
This park was an hour away.
Had you told me a year ago, that I would leave my house at 8:00 in the morning to drive an hour to go to a concrete skate park in the middle of NOWHERE I would have probably doubled over laughing.
And then, I’d catch my breath, and laugh some more.
He had never skated this park so he got about an hour of free skate.
He seems so little and big to me all at the same time.
I’m not sure I like it.
And then Mr. Dave gives him some coaching pointers, and I’m not really sure what to do with myself.
Wasn’t he just a tiny baby in a skin suit that we had to feed with a syringe?
Yes. Yes he was.
And it was pretty much yesterday.
But today he will be hurtling himself around this concrete landscape of hills and bowls and vertical drops.
Luckily I had the incredible oak trees as a back drop to distract me from getting too wrapped up in the whirring, wheeling, wheezing, dizzying passage of time.
Because I am certain that this skate park is hands down the prettiest skate park on the earth.
And there was my kid, and his 7 and under competitors, nervously chewing on his fingernails, but trying to conceal it with his too cool for school demeanor.
But then it was his turn, and my kid who would rather die than stand on a stage doing a play or singing or anything like that “because people would be looking at me!!!!“, has the entire park to himself for one minute to be judged for his performance.
I’m not sure I’ll ever understand how the thought of singing Christmas carols in the third row back with 70 of his Sunday School classmates drives terror, but he can risk gnarly concrete burns and scrapes with all eyes on him.
It’s a different crowd of people than we are used to.
Lots of mangled boards and stickers and shoes duct taped together.
But everyone is so kind and supportive. They cheer each other on, and the big kids are super encouraging to the little kids. I don’t know if this is specific to our sleepy area or if skate culture as a whole is more supportive than I realized. Either way, I like it. A lot.
And then this filthy, sweaty, stinky rag tag group of boys found a lone puddle of water at the bottom of a drop off and decided that the next logical thing to do was throw rocks into it.
Because boys.
Henry didn’t place this day. Not first, not second, not even third.
I remember a few years back (before we had four kids and before he traveled for work so often), Andy told me all about how he wanted to coach soccer and I’d be team mom or some such thing. That’s not really my gig, and I wasn’t exactly on board with this idea, but more than that, I wasn’t entirely sure Henry would be into sports.
The interesting thing is that Henry seems to be naturally…athletic? He seems to take to physical activities with ease. Somehow he was born with some kind of natural agility and coordination. Not just in skateboarding, but in most sports, he just seems to get it. (None of which he inherited from his mother. I assure you.)
BUT.
All those years ago, I distinctly remember telling Andy “You know, I know you’re excited at the prospect of being a coach and stuff, but you’re also super competitive. I know Henry seems to be naturally good at stuff, but I just don’t see him being competitive. While I would bet he would be pretty decent at the fundamentals of soccer, I cannot for the life of me picture him trying to take the ball away from an opposing teammate. I just don’t. Could he dribble and head butt and whatever else? Yeah. Totally. But the thought of being aggressive and pushing his way around to get the ball away from another kid doesn’t seem like Henry to me. I could be wrong, but you might have to prepare yourself for having a kid that isn’t interested in winning.”
That conversation was a couple of years ago.
* * * *
On the way home from the competition:
Me: So are you bummed you didn’t place today?
H: No. I don’t need another deck anyway. And I have plenty of stickers. (referring to the prize packs)
J: Yeah. That’s true. But besides the prizes, does it make you sad?
H: No. I don’t need that stuff anyway.
J: Okay, but forget the prizes for now, okay? Pretend there are no prizes.
H: But if there aren’t any prizes, what’s the point?
J: Well, not everything has prizes when you win. I guess it’s just knowing that of all the kids in your division you were the best one of them all.
H: But mom…that would be boastful!!! If there were no prizes, wouldn’t it just be mean to go around being happy that I was better than my friends???
J: Ummmmm….hey, let’s listen to the radio!
Because I was at a loss for words. I heard echoing back to me our admonitions to our children to not be boastful and to always be encouraging to others. (Before you’re too impressed, keep in mind this seems to play out better with friends and strangers than with siblings. Grrrrr.)
But it’s true. You will often hear Andy and I saying “Heyyyyy….don’t be boastful!” (Based on 1 Corinthians 1:31)
You’ll also hear us regularly reminding our kids “What’s your most important job in the whole wide world?” “To glorify God.” (Based on 1 Corinthians 10:31)
So basically: Do the best you can, but don’t brag about it.
But there’s a rub between this lesson we work hard to instill in our littles and the world of competitive sports.
Sure, there’s overlap. Sometimes doing the best you can also means you ARE the best. And that’s fine and natural. And of course pushing a kid to win also pushes them to find their personal best.
But I think Henry’s innocent question from the back seat reminded me that his dad and I need to rethink how we view competitive anything.
If I had to look into my non-existent crystal ball, I would guess that Henry will be that kid that will always make the team. He’ll make Varsity. In fact, he’ll probably even be a starter. But he won’t be the star player, and he probably won’t get a college scholarship for it.
He’ll just be in the picture, cheering and holding up the guy who does.
I’m okay with that.
In fact, I prefer that.
And then he took first place this last weekend.
And he got his prize pack after all.
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What an awesome little man he is becoming!
A very wise child you have there!
The picture of the four boys by the tracks reminded me of the movie Stand By Me! Henry has such a great attitude and shows awesome sportsmanship. So they don’t have to wear pads for the competition or is it optional? (Honestly, I think I’d have to bubblewrap my kids if they took up skateboarding!!!!) Enjoy the next few competitions!
I think Henry is the prize pack.
Caryl