The holidays are stressful.
The end.
I don’t care what you do, how you handle it, or what you try to minimize, it’s just a lot.
Unless, maybe you boycott entirely and move to Siberia for the last two months of the year. Maybe then it would be less stressful. But a lot colder too. Six one half dozen the other.
I’m not the Simplicity Queen, but I do try to find ways to make things even a little bit easier…and if they also make things a lot more meaningful, I’m in holiday heaven.
One of my absolute favorite things we do that curbs major stress this time of year is that we only buy 3 gifts for each of the kids. I know a lot of families do that, but I typically hear that the reason behind it is symbolism for the 3 gifts the magi brought for Jesus. I like that idea, and the symbolic nature of it, but that’s not why we do it.
Also, looking at old pictures of my kids. I love that too. It reminds me why the heck all of this is worth it.
Our three gifts are 1 from Santa, 1 from Mom, 1 from Dad.
Every family has to do their own thing, but here are the 6 reasons I love our 3 gift per kid system, and why you might like it too:
- It majorly cuts down on shopping. I love shopping, really I do. I especially love scoring amazing deals. Gift giving is kind of my love language. That being said, it means that the tendency to over-shop is RIGHT THERE. Three gifts per kid still adds up when you have four kids, but it’s a lot more manageable when you’re trying to cross things off your to do list.
- It eliminates all that fairness stuff. So and so has 7 gifts, but the other only has 5…his gifts are physically bigger…her gifts cost more…blah. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Three gifts. The end.
- It makes the gift that much more awesome. When I know that I’m only buying ONE gift for Lucy, I make sure it’s a good one. I pass up all the random Black Friday dolls and tea sets that are SO TEMPTING (she would love that! and it’s soooo cheap!), and I focus on what is the ONE thing I think she would swoon over. It’s become a fun challenge as I shop rather than simply tossing stuff into my cart.
- It’s become a friendly competition between my husband and I. One of the keys to this 1 from Mom, 1 from Dad system is NOT TALKING TO EACH OTHER ABOUT GIFTS. We don’t discuss what we are thinking of getting the kids…we don’t brainstorm…we don’t give each other ideas/hints. And because of item #2 up there, we are always anxious to see if our one gift was a hit. And which of our gifts was the bigger hit. Because we are totally like that.
- There’s something special about getting a gift from Dad (that Mom didn’t just put his name on the tag). In our house (and most, I think), Mom does the vast majority of the shopping year round. I like the idea that the kids know that Dad specifically picked this thing out for them. And as they get older, I romanticize the idea that my kids will accumulate trinkets with special meaning. A bracelet, a pair of little earrings, a baseball bat, a tool set…from dear old Dad that will become treasured pieces. And yes, from Mom too I would imagine.
- It’s really really fun to see the lens each parent see through. Since I’m only getting one gift, I’m not exactly buying a 5 pack of underwear, so it’s really fun to see the difference between what I buy, and what Andy buys. I usually go tried and true, wooden, nostalgia…and Andy goes electronic and way above the suggested age level. Interestingly, I’m watching the kids open the 10 years and up gift thinking “Man, that’s way too old for them…” and Andy sets them up, shows them what to do, and within minutes, I’m proven wrong. (Also, he almost always “wins” the better gift contest. Because Dads are fun like that.)
I know that lots of people use the gifts at Christmas as an opportunity to buy stuff the kids need anyway…shoes, jackets, etc. But that just seems to add another layer of stress to the holidays. And a bigger price tag!
But mostly, it feels like it dilutes some of the specialness that comes with really super thought out gifts.
Santa gifts are the big things: bikes, skateboards, doll strollers. I don’t know why we give the Big Guy the credit there, but it’s just how it turned out. My kids are already starting to figure out that Santa isn’t real, so I’m not sure if we will turn it into a 2 gift system, or leave the big gift and call it a Joint Gift. We will cross that bridge when we get there.
And yes, we do Santa. For some reason, I was really honest about the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny, but Santa made the cut. Mama can only do one imaginary figure per year thankyouverymuch.
An extra perk for finding ways to keep stress levels low is that you also lower your chances of stress induced migraines. If you are a migraine sufferer (like I am!), even the littlest things you can snip here, trim there, lessen all around, can be a huge game changer in how your crazy brain responds.
A few other ways to curb migraine triggers:
- o Stick to your regular routine. Eating, sleeping and exercising as you do the rest of the year can help reduce the chances of getting a headache/migraine.
o Manage your time and plan ahead. Coordinate plans and responsibilities in advance with relatives and friends, compose set menus when hosting a party and try to purchase gifts early so you’re not rushing at the last minute
o Stay in ventilated spaces. As you browse through the mall, watch out for those scented candles or perfume if you are sensitive to smells
o Eat and drink in moderation. Eat, drink, and be merry, but try not to consume sweets or alcoholic beverages in excess, as they could trigger migraines
One other way to curb stress and potentially a few migraines this season?
WIN CASH MONEY.
I mean, right?!
With all of the stress that can come with the holidays, the makers of Excedrin® are hoping to help alleviate some! Enter HERE between November 1, 2013 and January 1, 2014 to enter the “Take a Holiday from Headaches” sweepstakes, where you’ll be eligible for a chance to win daily prizes including gift cards to popular retailers and one lucky grand prize of $25,000 to help with shopping, travel and other holiday expenses – all of which can give anyone a headache.
BUT WAIT. THAT’S NOT ALL.
Excedrin Migraine is also offering one lucky Life Rearranged reader the opportunity to win a $100 American Express gift card!
Use the Rafflecopter widget below to enter (3 entries per person). I’ll pull a winner Saturday, November 30!
Which one of you lovelies is going to win a hundred bucks?! EEK!
*Disclosure: I am a paid Excedrin® Migraine blog ambassador. Compensation has been provided by Novartis Consumer Health, Inc., the makers of Excedrin® Migraine; my journey for a migraine-free experience is my own.
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I plan on doing most of my shopping online and also limit the number of gifts per person. I feel the stress of the season takes away from the joy!
A couple of years ago we started giving one big family gift in the form of an experience together. That year it was Disneyland, this year it’s the Monterey Bay Aquarium. Then we stick to 3 small gifts for the stockings. We have SO MUCH and in the fullness of life we just don’t get enough time together.
I love it and am sending a link to this blog post to my husband promptly! We have an added dimension of a split household (he has a son from a previous relationship), so I think it is easy to get caught up in a “competition” with the other household! I really like this idea.
Suzie´s last blog post ..The Holidays.
Love the three gift idea!
We do the three gift thing too! And we normally do an advent activity calendar, but you know what? I decided that was too stressful and I was always switching activities around at the last minute. So this year? Lego advent calendar. Yea, not very religious… but oh. so. simple.
Great suggestions. Although our kids are adults now , I still love picking out that one perfect gift from
Us. And now with 2 little grands even more fun. I love to shop . Hope I win the American Express
Gift card!!
Gin´s last blog post ..Rambling
We are celebrating our first christmas as a family if three. Since our baby is so young we starting a family tradition of one store bought gift from Santa, and a homemade gift from mom and dad.
I shop online, so I don’t have to put up with the crazy crowds in stores this time of year.
Excedrin Migraine takes care of my “baby” migraines. Love the idea of your 3 gifts for each kid! Would definitely incorporate it if I ever start a family.
Dawn´s last blog post ..Texas, Part 2…
Love the 3 gift idea and cutting down on stress levels!
I shop early in November and also online. I can’t stand the business of stores in December.
Busyness*
We actually decided to cut back on our travel this year and it has already reduced stress significantly. Just being able to slow down and enjoy the season rather than worry about travel plans has taken out an enormous amount of stress! I’m so looking forward to spending the holidays at home instead of constantly on the road.
I am trying to simplify everything. Really. But it’s hard. Our families all live at least a 2 hrs’ drive away in different directions. One way to reduce stress for me is to limit travel. We visit only one per holiday, alternating Thanksgiving and Christmas. And we always spend Christmas Eve and morning at home. Skype and Facetime are awesome! We’re limiting gifts this year. I love the separate Mom and Dad gifts btw – I love it A LOT!
We do the three gifts, too, for our two girls. One from Santa, one from Mom and Dad, and one from each other. I have decided that this Christmas is all about simplicity and just being together. Simple decorations and no activity advent!
Joni´s last blog post ..InstaFriday
I’m making all the gifts this year, to lessen the financial stress. Though I have a feeling it may increase my personal stress…
When I was younger my mom did the majority of the shopping. But the last couple years my dad has slowly started adding a gift from him. Its usually a last minute pick up, but its still very sweet.
Katie´s last blog post ..Breaking the Thanksgiving Rules
Reducing stress? Good question. I guess I would say that by traveling to someone else’s house for Christmas is a huge stress reliever. I don’t have to worry about a clean house. All I need to do is bring some food and I’m all set. (And I do try to do my share of the work by helping clean up after all the festivities).
I like your three gift idea, too. Now that we’re starting the grandkid stage, I’m going to do that for them.
Robbin Mote´s last blog post ..SUNDAY HOPE
Love the give away!
We also do 3 gifts and I do most of my shopping early & as much online as possible!
I love this idea! The three gifts thing is genius. Also…once we have kids, I think I’ll stick to Santa and no other figures as well.
I try to do things early – make my lists, buy the small things, wrap presents as I buy them. My biggest stressor is Christmas Dad. We run around all over the place and my kids have hardly any down time that day. I am working on changing that.
I think the three gifts is great. I have seen others do a variation on this theme where instead of one gift from Mom and one from Dad, Mom and Dad give a big gift and then a book gift. I really like that idea as well. Even once your kids figure out about Santa, you can still put his name on packages. They know it’s really from you, but it maintains the tradition of Santa.
I love this idea sooo much! My husband and I don’t have kids yet (hopefully soon) so I will have to remember this! I have a sister that is quite a bit younger than me and I have a tendency of spoiling her. I buy just TONS of gifts for her- pretty much anything I see that she might like- and I always spend way too much money. Hopefully this will help me cut down the cost.
I went to the 3 gifts set up a couple of years back. Another way I reduce stress is to not go all out with the decorations. I used to try and compete (inside and out) with all the houses in our neighborhood. Now I put up a small tree and a few lights around the roof line and that is it.
Im an online shopper .. takes away alot of the stress x
I like your 3 gift idea! I might steal that! The mom/dad gifts would totally end up just like yours.
I try to plan WAY ahead – have most of the shopping done by Thanksgiving – and almost all of it is done online. I can’t bear the traffic and crowds. Love your gift from Dad idea. That will really be special to them one day.
I love the idea of a “Dad” gift. I’m so bad. Every year I try to simplify and fail. Thanks for the idea.
I love your idea for separating gifts! It sounds simple and meaningful…
I really try to avoid going out to crowded places. People can be very rude during the holidays and the exact opposite of what the holiday season should be about! I don’t need that kind of negativity and stress
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I stay away from the stinky candles, shop early, plan well, and try to spend December as calm as possible… If I manage to stick to it, then I don’t get a migraine…
So smart!
I try to shop early and online to avoid crowds! :)
I try to keep gifts simple and heartfelt….and also I try not to over commit myself.
I’m trying to get as much done before December so I can focus on “want to dos” vs “have to dos”.
Narrowing down the huge variety of cookies that I usually make, there’s always so many amongst all the family members that I ‘m just going to choose a few favorites that others don’t bake.
We make things simple by limiting gift buying for kids and family. We also pick and choose with events we are invited to.
Ask for help and keep it simple. I don’t do everything myself.
I love your blog!! I found you a long time ago by way of Julie Carson’s blog. I wish I was smart enough years ago to think of just 3 gifts but after a couple of Christmases where Santa got all the credit his gifts were downgraded & we gave the big gifts. I’m hoping to simplify this year by having an open mind & planning not to let my insensitive brothers get to me. Wishing you all a wonderful Christmas & holiday season!!
we do our best to work together and focus on spending time with those we love!
I try to have all my gifts picked out and purchased pre-Halloween. It helps to not even consider going in to Target during the holiday rush.
I bake. if I bake, I’m calm. fat, but calm.
I love the three gift idea! I try to have at least an idea of what to get each of my family members before Thanksgiving. Hasn’t happened this year though….
Really love the three gift idea! I don’t have kids yet, but I will have to keep that in mind. My family has recently changed the way we give gifts. We pick a name out of a hat, and we buy for that person and that person only. The limit is usually $50. It saves on money and on stress. I was apprehensive at first, but I’m loving it now! It makes the gift more meaningful.
Alyssa´s last blog post ..Carmel & Such
My mom does a “santa” gift and stocking for me even as an adult.
Love it. We do one big gift and small gifts in her stocking (socks, tights, books, small bag of chocolate, fruit) and my inlaws give her a stuffed to the gills stoking and some gifts. We had to ask them to scale back on Christmas, b/c Christmas is their love language lol
Loving the 3 gift idea! I think I have 2 for each kid now…time for dad to go shopping! He will love to hear that! ;0
I take a day off in the middle of the week to go to the mall to try to avoid the stress of crowds
I do nearly all my shopping online except for stocking stuffers and I often start buying months ahead. Love the gift from Dad – mine alwys bought us a Xmas ornament and he took lots of care to make it meaningful. Now as an adult when I hang them on my tree I have lots of memories of my dad!
We (well, really I) attempt to keep the gifts to a minimum, like less than 10. Last year I realized we were buying gifts that my boys only played with a time or two. I wanted to get meaningful gifts that would stick. But I admit, gift giving is one of my love languages too. So sometimes I go a tad more than I intended.
I gotta say, I’m really loving the 3 gift thing. That is something I’m going to have to share with my husband.