June is Migraine Awareness Month. It’s also Home Safety Month. And I think there was a Donut Day in there too.
Migraines are the worst.
Being a mom, with little kids who aren’t gone at school all day…little kids who you still have to keep a close eye on or they’ll do something crazy like choke on glass…little kids who whine and cry and scream and get boooooored…the WORST.
I’ve had migraines my whole life. My grandma remembers me getting them as young as Kindergarten. And for as awful as they are under any conditions, they are especially terrible when you can’t just sleep them off in a dark room. We have no family nearby. I do not have the option of calling my mom and asking her to come take the kids for the afternoon. It stinks.
For those of you who don’t get migraines. I hate you. I hate you always, forever, until the ends of the earth, hate you.
And I mean that in the most loving way possible.
For the rest of us, the ones who feel like they are going to simultaneously puke, pass out, and their heads will explode in a giant mess that we’ll be stuck cleaning up later on…we need some survival tips for getting through the M word when we’re still responsible for a bunch of little kids who’s cute factor won’t get them through the afternoon.
Back when I was pregnant with the girls, nauseous, exhausted, and still in shock that I was having twins…. my wise friend Joy told me that it was okay to go into Survival Mode. It was okay to take care of yourself. Even if it meant letting your kids do things you would otherwise be horrified at. Survival Mode is temporary. Your kids won’t be permanently ruined because they were allowed to watch movies for hours on end one day. Or even one trimester. Once you’re better, you can go back to your normal house rules. I realize that sounds obvious…but I needed someone to give me permission to not be concerned with doing everything Just Right. I needed someone to tell me that I was allowed to be sick.
So, now I’m telling you. It’s okay to let it all go for a day or two. You’re allowed to feel puny.
Step 1: Ignore the house.
I’m one of those people who has a really hard time sitting down and relaxing when I know that the house is a mess. I’m not saying it has to be perfect, but obvious messes make me crazy. But when I have a migraine, I have to force myself to ignore the fact that the baby got into the dog food. Again.
Step 2: Barricade yourself in one room of your house.
My open floor plan is awesome for hosting parties and everyday life. But when I need to lie down and cover my eyes from evil sunlight, I need my littles to be nearby where I can keep a half open, squinty eye on them. It was much easier back when Owen wasn’t walking everywhere. Back then, I could lay him on my bed with a play gym. Back then was Nice.
Step 3: Institute a variety of quiet activities.
From your zombie like state, try to announce fun activities like Look At Books Quietly Time. Say it with as much enthusiasm as you can muster. Make it sound like a special activity. You know, because it’s summer and summertime comes with promises of special activities. Close the door behind you so no one can escape, and then lie on the floor motionless while the kids flip through books for exactly 12.4 seconds.
Step 4: Embrace the video babysitter.
I want to meet the inventor of Netflix. And upon meeting him or her, I want to kiss them. ON THE MOUTH. Because they are beautifully brilliant souls that save the likes of Migraine Moms like me. I don’t love it when my kids watch a lot of TV, but this is Survival Mode at its finest. Set up videos/DVDs/streaming on your tablet or laptop and lock them in a room with you. Put the volume on as low as possible. Partially because sounds makes the room spin, but also because it means the kids have to be REALLY quiet in order to hear it.
If your brain is on fire for an entire day, switch it up and let them watch on the big TV next. Then they can go to the laptop. And around again. I know. It’s gross to have your kids glued to a screen for hours. But less gross than you passing out on the floor because you just. can’t.
Step 6: Give the baby whatever will keep him as quiet as possible.
Hold him in your lap while you close your eyes. Let him sleep next to you. Nurse him all day long. Feed him two full sleeves of crackers. Just whatever, Man.
Step 7: Warn your husband.
This step is extremely important. First of all, because he needs to be emotionally prepared for the chaos he will walk into after having been at work all day. Remember, the house is a war zone. The dog food is still in ALL THE PLACES. The books the kids read are strewn all over the floor. Your bed is a crumpled mess. The kids will be all glassy eyed from cartoon watching. The baby’s diaper probably weighs as much as he does. And let’s not even talk about what YOU look like at this point.
Secondly, if he’s a Good One, and this isn’t his first rodeo, he will immediately know to suggest picking up some dinner on his way in. 99.999999% of the time I wholeheartedly agree to greasy food you don’t have to cook so that you can languish around in despair some more, but in this case, I had actually prepped dinner earlier in the day, pre-migraine. Which, is pretty much a Christmas Miracle in itself. Thinking About Dinner usually commences at about 4:56 pm.
Also, I married a Good One. I don’t know how. It just happened.
Also, I realize this is a sponsored post, but that Excedrin line in our text conversation wasn’t planned, planted, or faked. It’s just truth in These Parts.
Step 8: Hot Shower/Cold Soda
As soon as your husband steps one toe through that door, crawl your raggedy self upstairs and RETREAT, RETREAT, RETREAT! Just go. He will survive. Maybe give him a little wave on your way. Just so he knows you saw him.
Then take the hottest shower you can stand and let that hot water run all over your weary noggin. Just stand there. Don’t bother shaving your legs. After all, you have a headache. Like, actually.
While you’re in there, unclench your teeth. You’re doing it. I promise. You will be amazed at how much pressure that relieves.
Then drink an ice cold soda. I think the caffeine helps, but for me it’s really about my skin all hot and cozy and then icy bubbles in my tummy. Somehow this makes me feel somewhat better. I have no medical proof of this. Because, you know, I don’t think Google is accredited to give out medical degrees in exchange for lots of searching.
Step 9: Just hide.
I don’t care if it’s only 6:15 p.m. Get in bed. Lie there. Take a nap. If your head can handle it, read a book. Whatever. Just rest. Last night, my migraine was fairly well knocked down, but it just drains my batteries. And I’ve learned (the hard way) that when I’ve just subdued a migraine, I’ve gotta keep taking it easy for a while longer or else it’ll be back in a flash. Swinging. With a vengeance. So don’t jump right back into life so quickly. Even if your head feels better. You need to let it go. And give yourself the space to fully recuperate. Trust me, it’s not worth it to soldier on. No one wins.
Besides, with the day you had, you deserve to just check out for the night.
* * *
Did you know that 36 million people in the US suffer from migraines, and three out of every four are women ages 18 to 35? I’d be curious how many of those are moms? There are many triggers like diet, hydration, weather changes, and even your monthly cycle. If you suffer from migraines, consider downloading the My Migraine Triggers app to help figure out what your triggers are, and potentially avoid future migraines.
Do you suffer from migraines? What is your Survival Mode method of choice? Any tips or tricks?
Leave a comment below answering the questions, and TWO people will be randomly selected and get an Excedrin Migraine gift pack of a water bottle, travel pillow, and eye mask!
(winners will be selected Monday, July 1.)
*Disclosure: I am a paid Excedrin® Migraine blog ambassador. Compensation has been provided by Novartis Consumer Health, Inc., the makers of Excedrin® Migraine; my journey for a migraine-free experience is my own.
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I suffer from migraines too! First I take my trusty Excedrin with some cola if I have some in the house. Then I beg, bribe, plead, my three boys to keep quiet because momma has a nasty headache. I lay down with an ice cold washcloth on my head (I cover my eyes too) and I stay as still as possible. I have also realized that breathing in and out for the same length of time in and out really helps me.
I can’t even begin to think how I would be having a migraine and having to take care of the household you have! You are one strong mama! I used to suffer from migraines and nothing would help except taking medications. Then, I realized that they were being caused whenever I had a diet soda or just consumed artificial sweeteners. Once I cut those out of my life, I’ve been migraine free. Hang in there!
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Even though migraines are no laughing matter. Clearly. This post had me laughing so hard. Everything you say is true. Migraines suck rocks. I’m going to try your hot shower/cold soda tip. Except it will be pop. Because Canadian. :). I break into the gift cupboard and start handing stuff out like a ragey Santa to keep the kids quiet. And lie on the couch making scary sounds to keep them from approaching me with their 11 million questions.
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I DO!!!! They started about 6 years ago and are just horrid. If I don’t get on top of it I end up in a ball in a dark room crying. I usually take 2 tablets right away then one every two hours so I give a quick backhand slap to the migraine then I am never without meds on-board because as one begins to wane the next is still working. A cup of strong coffee goes on top of it all. If I don’t get to it right away NOTHING- not even a miracle will work. It really stinks!! Thankfully the kiddos are old enough to care for the littler kiddos but the house always looks like a natural disaster. Naturally.
I get migraines, too. They are the WORST. It’s helped me to figure out what my triggers are. I finally caught on that they were usually hitting me the week before my delightful monthly visitor. Yay hormones. A Dr. also told me to try coke, but to let it sit open for a while. I can’t for the life of me remember his scientific reasoning behind it, but it sure does help!
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I do…..Started after a fell off a horse, and had a seizure, which came first (the fall or the seizure) we’re not sure. I finally gave in this year after a multiple months long migraine, and no longer being able to take Ibuprofen from having taken it for years, and tried an everyday medication. Topamax worked at first, but then it quit working. Now I’m on lisinopril, which seems to be a lifesaver. I still have the “symptoms” of when a migraine would be coming, but the actual pain never hits. It’s a wonderful thing. When I had them before (and even now when I get a little one), I take Excedrin migraine. Or, if it gets bad, I take fioricet. I can’t stop, because I was getting them so often that if I stopped every time I had one (or even a really bad one), nothing would get accomplished. I do try and switch to a quieter/simpler job if I’m at work, preferably one that doesn’t require face to face interaction with people since I look a mess. I take my pills. I leave as soon as I can. If one of the REALLY bad ones hit that makes me not function at all, then I go home, turn out all the lights, hide in my room, load myself down on every med that does not interact with the others, plus a benadryl, and go to sleep.
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Me, too! Only my pain regimen starts with pain killers and the coldest Coke I can find. Once, I stopped buying Coke in a effort to drink less pop; my husband went out and bought some and stashed it away “for emergencies”. He’s one of the good ones, too!
Exceeding helps me everytime if I catch it quick! Always have my bottle with me. Haven’t tried the mask tho…
I meant Excedrin!!!
Interesting enough, some peoples migraines because of a PFO in their hear that never closed. Tiny air bubbles pass through and travel to your head causing the migraine. I have had a few friends have 2D Echos to see if that is where theirs were stemming from. Being a nurse, I found it very interesting information. I only experienced migraines before I started having children, then after children when I would restart my birth control. I have not had a migraine since I was fixed. When I did have them, I would take three advil and chase it with a strong cup of coffee.
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You just made me feel extremely grateful that I don’t suffer from migraines. My dad has had them my whole life, so I’ve seen how difficult it was for him….but thank the LORD above, I have never had one. I don’t blame you for hating me.
Is it wrong that I myself have had survival mode mama days even though I am migraine free? Sinus infection + 9 months pregnant and measuring 4 weeks ahead. That’s my excuse!
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I just feel off the chair. “give him a little wave”. Favorite part ever. Laughing. So. HARD
Great tips! I get migraines occasionally. I’ve never fully figured our the triggers but I think a combination if stress and monthly hormones are big contributors. I take Excedrin and drink Coke as well. And always survival mode over here :). The husband works nights so that leaves me alone in this situation. I do quiet time (ha!) with movies and books and try to not move.
I will get them occasionally but can always feel them coming so do the best I can to take quick action…sometimes easier said than done. I have found lying down with frozen veggies on my forehead will sometimes work. But I do agree, often Excedrin Migrange often works just as well as my prescription.
I try to sleep it off as best as I can in a DARK room.
I was laughing at this post but not because I thought it was funny but because I have done every single one of the things you posted about..and the text to the husband is the best. My husband sadly gets those often. I have a family history of migraine. I started getting them when I was about 12 and they have only gotten worse they sometimes last for days. I have had to go to the ER for them they have been so bad that I am vomiting and have become dehydrated. No joke. I try to head them off when I feel them coming on but sometime they just hit me and there is no stopping them. I am on a preventative med now that I am no longer breastfeeding (baby is only 7 weeks, had to stop nursing at 4 weeks the migraines were so bad after birth had to go right back on meds) and I have triptans like Teximet to take when I get a migraine and have tried all the things you posted about and those don’t work. Good thing we picked good ones as husbands…Hope your migraines are few and far between in the near future!
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I have monster headaches at least twice a month, migraines almost as often and I know I will always have a migraine when the 1) season changes, 2) the wind blows and 3) an ant farts. Mine are usually allergy and heat related but I have had some stress-related migraines due to my line of work.
Frankly, if I don’t get the meds quick enough, I have to puke for it to go away. It’s awful. I am always exhausted, and a shower plus a jumbo cup of espresso/coffee does the trick. Plus I think I have commented before about my multi-OTC cocktail that would probably horrify my primary care doc (OTC migraine meds, aspirin and caffeine). That’s the combo if I haven’t made it to the puking part. I’m too chicken to take scrip meds for migraine.
With triple digit love here in SacTown, I have been parking my sweaty behind in front of an AC vent and keeping hydrated. Dehydration also sets me off. Which is funny if you think about my expansive use of coffee as a healing medication LOL
Best,
Caryl
i can relate- i have had migraones my whole life too! i gave up sugar and artificial sweetners 14 weeks ago and have not had a migraine since.
i knpw different things work for different people but you necer know!
i have ten kids and i know how hard it it when the mommas down and out.
I have to say I love Excedrin! Perscription migraine medicine is great too, but it can come with some side effects. I have never experienced any bad side effects with excedrin, so I keep it in my purse so I always have it! I also drink a soda, or a sweet tea to help it, I thought I was the only one who really did that!
I have suffered from migraines since I was a teen. I think they are related to my monthly cycle but I haven’t been able to tell for sure. I do know that when I was pregnant I did not get migraines…thank the Lord! Almost makes me want to keep having babies! Of course, I do have five kids so maybe it’s time to stop that method of migraine treatment! :)
I have done all of the things you mentioned. My kids know that when Mommy says she has a headache it means that they can watch TV all day and I am not even as picky about what shows they watch. Normally, I am super strict about the content of the shows they watch but when I have a migraine I am just interested in surviving until the hubs gets home so I am much more lax. I think my kids actually enjoy when Mommy has a migraine!
I am a big fan of Excedrin migraine and an ice cold Coke. I try to remember to keep Coke in the house always but occasionally run out. I once sent my retired neighbor to the store to get me Coke when I had a migraine and hubs was at work! I didn’t even feel bad about it. Speaking of the hubs, he too is a keeper. He knows just what to do when I have a migraine and he steps in and takes over. He has even come home from work early on more than one occasion just so I can close myself up in a dark room and sleep it off. Love the man!
this is the 10th one:
For those who suffer from migraine headaches, the pain can be devastating. Intense throbbing and sensitivity to light or sound often keeps people from their normal lives for hours or even days on end. The World Health Organization ranks migraine as one of the most debilitating diseases, and more than 10 percent of the population suffers from it. Yet migraine is not widely understood and is often misdiagnosed. But patients can find relief with the right treatments.
I am a dr by profession with expertise in pain relief.One tool i would like to share with you all is about a little known pran yantra,what we call tesla purple energy plates in the western world. These plates became more popular after Linda Goodman wrote about the metaphysical qualities of the plates in her book, The Star Signs.
While on a visit to india 2 years ago, i bought a couple of them because they were so cheap at $5 per plate.I used these plates on my patients with back pains, migraine, etc and more than 99 percent of them have positive results.
I read your blog and i could relate to every aspect of it. seriously. every single thing.
I am 34 yr old mom of 3 yr old son. I am out of home for 10 hours daily for work and miss giving my time to my kid. And in migraine days I miss out on everything. I am a bad employee, a bad mom, a bad wife and a bad person to be around too.
I had a silent migraine since yesterday and didnt know it cause symptoms were different. My husband and dad cooked and cleant the kitchen after office hours. They thought i was just tired. Hubby also took care of the kid. Yet, I yelled on my kid for wanting to play with me and then also scolded my hubby cause he didnt like me talking like that to our son. Today I have migraine. Sometimes I just feel I should have someone to talk to whenver i am in pain. My husband has gradually started taking it lightly, my parents are not around so much and I just feel so alone in the pain. It seems no one even wants to understand. It is sad but I admit that i need some sympathetic words and a hug during this phase. For the sake of appearing normal and not sick all the time, I try to pretend that it is nothing and carry out normal responsibilities. I fear that gradually everyone around me, esp my hubby and kid will be fed up of me and my headaches.