On the other hand, setting up a fundraiser for a friend is the opposite of sending lasagna. It’s risky and can be a bit scary. What if I bring up the issue and my friends take offense to it? Or what if I set up a fundraiser and nobody gives? Without a doubt, there is a greater chance to fail with a fundraiser than there is with lasagna. If I have learned one thing in my three years at GiveForward, however, it’s that doing the right thing isn’t always comfortable and it’s rarely easy. But it’s worth it! When you open up your heart and do something truly meaningful for another person it becomes infectious and you will want to do it over and over and over. And others will too! So, the next time you find out a friend or loved one is sick, before you jump into the kitchen to prepare some comfort food for them, I encourage you to stop and ask yourself: do they really need any more lasagna?
Ethan Austin is the co-founder of GiveForward, an online fundraising platform that has helped thousands of families raise millions of dollars online for out-of-pocket medical expenses. He has had the great pleasure to work with Jeannett for the past year and feels lucky to be able to call her a friend (even though they have never met in real life). More than anything, he is absolutely thrilled that through their work together, wonderful people like Vanessa and her son Brock have found and benefitted from GiveForward.
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oh, how i love this! thanks for sharing!!
I love this post. When our son was sick in April we spent four days in a local hospital and then were transferred via air ambulance from Oklahoma to Ohio. One parent could fly with him and I could take a purse and one small to medium overnight bag for the two of us. Thankfully we lived close to the hospital so I could run home and pack but there was no time for any other plans. The children’s hospital in Ohio offered parents a reduced meal plan and thankfully took credit cards as I didn’t have time to get cash before we left home. My son become seriously ill while there and put on a ventilator so my husband had to join us. He left Oklahoma straight from work without even going home for luggage so he arrived in Ohio without even a toothbrush. When he got to Ohio we had to buy him clothes and we were able to get a room in the Ronald McDonald House next door to the hospital. My aunt collected money for us while we were gone. Initially this made me uncomfortable because she didn’t check with us first. I knew we had good insurance and thankfully an emergency savings plan. In the end the few hundred dollars she collected were perfect. They helped to off-set the costs for our food, the clothes for my husband, and his unplanned airfare to and from Ohio. We weren’t home to get food and honestly the money was the best thing. I’d never heard of GiveForward but will definitely keep it in mind the next time we know someone who might need the extra help.
Tammy, thanks so much for the kind words and for sharing your story. We actually work with the Ronald McDonald House to help serve the families staying at their facilities. Right now, we’re only working with the Chicago chapter, but we hope to start working with more chapters in the future.
Such great points. Thank you for sharing this story, your heart, and info on the giveforward page. I haven’t run into a situation like this (yet), but my hope is that I will remember your words when the time comes.
Thank you Sarah! I really appreciate it.
Wow. This is an amazingly timed post. My son was just diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma on Friday. We are now trying to deal with how that diagnosis is going to change our lives. I am thinking that we will be mostly covered, but I honestly don’t know. I am getting the feeling that we are going to be in for some financial surprises. Thank you so much for this and all you do for others, especially when you are dealing with so much on your own plate already. You have been an inspiration to me, and countless others I am sure. I have just started this blog to chronicle the battle we will be fighting. It is my sincerest hope that God will use this trial we are experiencing to bless the lives of others, especially those dealing with similar battles. Because of that I have set up a page to direct readers as to what organization and where they can make donations that will help further the cause of finidng treatments and cures. It may come to a point though where we may be in need of the donations.
Julie, thank you so much for your comments. I read the post on your blog about accepting help. It was very touching and I truly believe that one of the most courageous things a person can do is ask for help. Just so you know, you are NOT alone. Here’s a blog post I wrote a while back that you may find interesting. http://blog.giveforward.com/are-you-a-charity-case-why-all-cancer-patients-need-help-with-medical-bills
If you decide to set up a fundraising page or ask friends to help set one up, please do not hesitate to reach out to us. We have personal fundraising coaches who can give you (or whoever sets up the fundraiser) one-on-one support to help make the process super-easy even if you have no prior fundraising experience.
Lastly, I want to introduce you to a wonderful non-profit organization called ImermanAngels.org. Imerman Angels will pair you up with parents who have had a child who has beat Hodgkins. Friends and family can be a great support system, but sometimes it is helpful to talk to someone who has been in your exact same shoes and can tell you what lies ahead. The service is completely free and the folks that run it are some of the best people in the world. I highly recommend it! You can email Lisa [at] Imermanangels.org and she can set you guys up with a mentor.
Stay positive!!!!! You guys will get through this and we’ll be sending lots of virtual hugs and good vibes your way from the GiveForward office! Again, if we can help in any way, don’t hesitate to reach out. My direct email is ethan [at] giveforward.com. Okay, that’s it. I know you must be overwhelmed right now, so I hope this can help just a tiny bit.
Hugs and high fives,
ethan
Thank you for sharing this, it was great. Sometimes we all need a little perspective.
Thank you, Gwen. I really appreciate it!
After our Evan died we got SO much food, it was incredible. At one point there could be up to 2 dozen people or more to be fed so it was lovely. After a few weeks, we got sick of lasagna. Very sick of it! What would have been nice is for people to call up while they’re at the grocery store and ask “do you need any bread milk or bananas? any essentials that you just haven’t had the time to go out and get yet? i’m on my way over with a roast chicken and some potatoes and gravy, is it a good time to drop in in 30?” That would have been lovely!
Kara,
First, I’m so sorry for your loss. My grandmother lost both of her children. I’ve seen first-hand how difficult it was for her to have to bury her children. I can only imagine how tough it must have been for you.
Second, I just wanted to say thank you so much for sharing your insights. I think most people give food with the best intentions. But I think one of the biggest problems is that friends and family often feel paralyzed and don’t know how to help in a way that would be more beneficial. Hopefully, someone will read your comment here and it will change the way they help a friend in the future.
I have never heard of GiveForward but I love the sound of it and plan to hop over there commencing this comment. I also like that you’ve brought up this issue of helping others in need by raising money for them. We need each other now more than ever. I appreciate this challenge to grow our safety nets by reaching out to others, and by maybe someday receiving help ourselves.
Thanks for sharing–
Stephanie from Make Home Make Sense
Stephanie, Thanks for your kind words about GiveForward both here and on your blog, We really appreciate you helping get the word out and were tickled to see that we were one of your favorite blog posts of the week. Hopefully, you are never in a situation where GiveForward would come in handy, but if the situation ever arises, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us. Ethan [at] GiveForward.com.
If your friend is home in bed I’d make some meals for him/her to rely upon. When we are ill we cannot grocery shop nor do we feel like cooking a meal, much less eating it. But if someone we love takes the time to make us a meal, it not only shows that we are cared about but it helps us physically!
Hi Lynne!
I don’t think Ethan was saying that bringing food to those in need was a terrible thing…and especially in the situation you described…I think his point was to say that the family might be better served with financial help if the food train has been in constant rotation! :) Thanks for commenting and being a part of this community!
Hi Lynne,
Thanks for addressing this issue. I totally agree with you that food can make a huge impact on the spirits of a family going through an illness. In fact, my sister’s friend’s mom is in the hospital right now and my sister has been bringing them meals for the past week. I know for a fact that it means a TON to this family and it is making a meaningful difference to them. The point I was trying to make is simply that while food definitely has a role in helping families, sometimes what families need more than food, is money. And that as friends, we shouldn’t rush to make food right away, but should first ask ourselves if that is what would do them the most good.
SUCH a great post! I found my way over hear from cuppa kim’s blog. My husband and I are going through major chronic health issues and cannot work. We are in need of a donations page, but would feel odd setting one up for ourselves. We’ll be praying and talking to my parents, who have given SO much to help us. I hope others will be able to read this post!
Melissa,
Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry to hear about the situation you and your husband are in. I’m sure we can help, so please don’t hesitate to reach out to us. ethan [at] giveforward.com
Typically, it is the friend or a family member who will start the page on their loved one’s behalf. Like you said, it is easier to ask on behalf of a friend than to ask for yourself. That said, between 10%-20% of fundraisers on the site are people raising money for themselves.
Lastly, here is a blog post I wrote a while back addressing the issue of asking for help. It’s a very tough thing to do in our culture, but I honestly think it is one of the most courageous things a person can do.
http://blog.giveforward.com/are-you-a-charity-case-why-all-cancer-patients-need-help-with-medical-bills
I hope this helps a tiny bit In the mean time, please know that we’ll be sending lots of good vibes and positive energy your guys’ way!!!
i loved this post. last year, the day after climbing a mountain in Colorado, my healthy-as-a-horse 33 year old husband became extremely ill. in the beginning weeks, we were told it was most likely leukemia. but after extensive testing and days in the hospital, we found out it was endocarditis, a vegetative infection growing in his heart, blocking blood flow and destroying his aortic valve. totally random, completely unexpected. although we had good insurance through my part time job, he had no benefits offered through his job – he is in social work. at that time he was a therapist to kids in the juvenile justice system. he had to miss a lot of work, and his employer could not (or would not?) pay him PTO for that time. after he got out of the hospital, he was on home health care for 6 weeks, then had to have open heart surgery to replace the aortic valve with a mechanical one. we received SO much food! most of it was through my in-law’s church. and it was really appreciated. these people had no idea who we were, but heard through the grapevine that we were in a full blown crisis. and with my husband not working and not able to take care of our little ones (they were 4 and 1 – he couldn’t even lift the baby), i was trying to work all kinds of extra hours to bring in a little more money. my brother in law called the hubs and asked if he could take him out to lunch one day and during lunch he handed him a large amount of cash. he had spread the word about Adam’s illness at his church like everyone else was doing, but he had also asked people for donations if they were so inclined. i cannot tell you how humbled and embarrassed i was…but how grateful too. i am a “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” kinda girl and hated that other people knew that we were in a tight spot. but at the same time, i needed to keep our family going. a few days later, we got a large check in the mail from my hub’s favorite aunt and uncle, along with a beautiful tearjerker of a letter, telling us how much we mean to them. i guess my point is, we so appreciated everyone’s generosity during that time. if it was babysitting, food or money, we were in the position to take whatever was offered to us. before this, i never would have thought about giving people in medical crisis a little cash to help out. my first though would have been food. but now that i have sat in the ICU and experienced home health visits and got that sinking feeling when i open my mailbox which is full of Dr. and hospital bills, i do think about passing along a little bit of cash to help out. it’s amazing how your thinking changes once you have been through a life changing event. again, thanks for this post. i found it very interesting and though provoking!
Kodie, thank you SO much for sharing this story. I always find it inspirational to hear that there are good people out there eager to help. It makes me happy! Please feel free to let your in-laws know about GiveForward and perhaps they can share it with their church to make it easier to raise money the next time a community member is in a tight situation.
Also, I loved your comment about the letter from your husband’s aunt and uncle – we hear all the time from users who tell us that the words of encouragement and “virtual hugs” that people leave on their fundraising pages sometimes are even more important than the money itself. One of the things that makes me happiest is knowing that through GiveForward, we have provided people with a platform to let their loved ones know that they love them and care about them and that they are not alone in their battle.
I hope your husband has fully recovered and everyone is doing well. If we can ever help with anything, please don’t hesitate to contact us. My personal email is ethan [at] giveforward.com. Lastly, if you want a good tool to manage all your ongoing bills, check out Simpleehealth.com
Hope this helps. Thanks again for your kind words!
ethan