Something has happened to Henry lately.
He’s always had a really great vocabulary.
We’ve always been amazed at some of the things he says.
But lately, maybe the last few weeks, something is happening…he’s growing up.
The things he wants to talk about…the tone in his voice…the mannerisms and phrases…I often find myself looking around thinking “What on earth is happening?! Since when did you get so grown up???!!!”
I suppose that with his 4th birthday around the corner, he’s a big kid.
And he’s starting to ask questions. Big questions. Tough questions. Questions I struggle to answer.
Usually, he’s banished to his room until the appointed hour of 7:00 a.m.
But every once in a while, I’ll surprise him by letting him come out a little early…
“Go get your robe. Let’s get cozy and go outside and hang out. Just Henry and Mommy.”
Stinky Corner Blankie always comes too.
And whatever toy du jour he took to bed with him the night before.
And my coffee.
Hot and steaming. My own version of a blankie.
We will sit real quiet and try to pick out the different bird chirps…cuddling against the early morning chill.
Watch as the sky changes colors and the sun makes its grand entrance.
Wrap our robes tight and sit real close enjoying that stillness that only early morning can bring.
We chat about how God made all the different birds and flowers and…well, everything.
All the while he is fiddling with a flashlight.
Taking it apart. Putting it back together.
“Mama…how does a battery work? Why does it make the light come on?”
Oh boy.
“I don’t know Buddy. I think that’s a daddy question. But I think it’s something about the electricity and the way that when that little metal part on the battery touches the metal part inside the flashlight, it all works. But I really have no idea. I just know it works.”
{There’s some serious foreshadowing going on here. Listen close. And no, I’m not making this up. I can hardly believe it myself.}
“Can we play with our tents later today?”
“Sure.”
Quiet. More fiddling.
I notice his Cars pajamas are getting small.
“Mommy?”
“Yeah.”
“Remember we saw that tent down by the freeway and you said that a man lived there because he didn’t have a house?”
“Yes. I think he was homeless.”
“How come he doesn’t have a house?”
“I don’t know exactly why Bud.”
“That’s sad mommy….but how come we have a house? Did God give us our house?”
“He did. God gives us everything. God makes everything, right? Daddy goes to work to make money, but God gave him that job and God gave him his brain to think and so God gave us the money for this house.”
“How come God didn’t give the man in the tent money and a house?”
Oh. My. Goodness. Deep breath Jeannett…
“I have no idea. I really don’t. But…do you know what the word sovereignty means?”
“No.”
“It means that God gets to choose who He gives things to and what He does and what He doesn’t do. You know how Mommy and Daddy are the bosses of this house and you kids have to just do what we say? Mama and Daddy get to make the rules. That’s our job. Your job as the kid is to do what we say and obey those rules, right? So God gets to decide who gets a house and who lives in a tent and who has babies and who doesn’t. It’s God’s decision because He is God. That’s it that’s all. If God made the entire universe, God gets to make all of the decisions. Mom and Dad are the bosses here, but God is everyone’s boss.”
“But I think God should give that man a house. It’s not fair.”
“I know Buddy. Mommy wishes that man had a house too, but I don’t understand all of God’s ways. It doesn’t seem fair. But it’s our job to be kind and loving and giving to people like that man who don’t have what we have. It’s not our job to understand why God makes decisions, but our job to obey and love one another. Just like your job is to obey Mama and Daddy.”
“Can God take away our house? And then we have to live in a tent too someday?”
“Yes. If God can give us our house, he can take our house away too. Because He’s the boss.”
“I don’t want God to take away our house. That would be sad.”
“Mom would be sad too. But that’s not something for us to worry about. Remember, our job is to love one another and help each other while we can. Right now Mommy and Daddy have a house and money so we need to give and love. Then if something were to ever happen and we’d lose our house, maybe other people would help us.”
“Yeah, that would be nice. But Mom…why did God choose to give us a house and not that man?”
Seriously kid???
“Buddy, I don’t know. I really really don’t. But we are lucky, right? So we just have to say thank you and accept God’s decisions. Just like mama doesn’t know how the battery works…but we can see that it does. We don’t always have to know the exact answers to things. We just see that they are.”
“Yeah. Can we go inside now? I want a waffle. With syrup.”
“You got it dude.”
And breathe.
I wish I could take credit for this conversation as a literary parallel of story telling…but the truth is that my kid in all of his three years is asking tough questions and I’m stumbling my way through them.
My answers may not be 100% perfect, but hello!!! I’m on the spot!
It was 6:30 in the morning and this kid’s asking me questions of theology and God’s will???!!!
I hadn’t even finished my first cup of coffee yet!
This parenting gig is hard.
Mental note: he’s not allowed out of his room before 7 anymore. ;)
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dang, girl! you’re good. wanna come and have coffee with my kids? oh, wait, my kids only ask what’s for breakfast. :) i think you handled it beautifully.
I take ZERO credit for any of that. I was honestly shocked at the words coming out of my mouth as they were coming out. God’s SOVEREIGNTY??? To a three year old??? Don’t ask me to recreate it. Next time I’ll probably just interrupt and offer waffles at the beginning…
I just LOVE this! I am so often stumped by my kids questions. It’s hard to explain things that are hard for me to wrap my own brain around. Oh and I can’t help with math homework either;)
Jami´s last blog post ..Love is Rising Giveaway!
Wow!! That’s pretty profound for a 4 year old! I think you answered him just beautifully!! Parenting IS hard & explaining God’s decisions is even harder!! Thanks for sharing this story…I really enjoyed it!
Tonya @ Love of Family & Home´s last blog post ..Manual ModePhotography Skills Part 2
I think you did wonderfully. He has quite grown up questions and you were given just the right words to say.
there is a tent close to the on-ramp of the interstate near our home….
we live in an urban area and people push grocery carts with their belongings inside…
mom’s with young babies wait in the rain for the bus to take them somewhere…
on a park bench people place pillows and blankets for those that might need them later…
yep, those are the questions that at times are hard to answer even later in the day. i love the way a child’s mind works but at times i am sorry for what they are exposed to at young tender ages. we can only hope to make them compassionate towards others, not completely frightened of them, and their different circumstances. great answers from a wise mom to a someday wise man.
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the batteries close the circuit, thus the flashlight works (when it is on, just another part of the circuit). It’s just like when you flip a light switch, you are closing the circuit allowing the flow of electricity to complete it’s path. When the circuit is open, no light (incomplete circuit). Mommies no this kind of stuff too, especially if they taught an electricity unit for 4 years as part of fourth grade Science. :)
Wow. He’s more intelligent than I am. Those are hard questions. I would have probably gone in the direction of talking about the man and his choices and how they led to homelessness. But I love how the direction you chose prevents Henry from thinking any less of the man in the tent. He’s the same, just with a different place to sleep. You’re a great mommy.
Lara´s last blog post ..The Battle Im In
yeah. i needed that, too, today. thanks henry.
i just returned from tuscaloosa and volunteered in one of the worst hit areas. of course it was the most poverty-saturated areas of the city… and i seriously want to ask why? why take everything from the poor folks? from those without the means to even know how to go get help? from those who had precious little to begin with?
i don’t know the answer to the details, but i do have the big picture answer, and have to seriously trust God’s sovereignty. as my mom used to say, “ours is not to wonder why, ours is just to do or die.” not sure that’s entirely theologically correct, but it’s kinda like God’s the boss. that is all.
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Love this! I think I say “I think that’s a Daddy Question” about a million times a day! My daughter just turned 4 and the stuff her little mind wonders about really gets me seeing the world in a new light!
We are foster parents so we do a lot of talking about God taking care of the children and some of the stuff she asks is h-a-r-d to explain!
It’s hard, but isn’t it AMAZING?!?!