My keys?
I never ever ever have any idea where they are.
Ever.
On the shelf in the kitchen?
By the front door?
Maybe in the car still?
You can say to me:
“Jeannett, I will give you ONE MILLION DOLLARS if you can tell me with full confidence where your keys are at this exact moment.”
And I’d be a non-millionaire.
Sucky.
How many emails have I sent:
“um, can you call me please? i can’t find my phone.”
Emailing, because we don’t have a home phone.
Just cell phones.
Which makes misplacing it even more of a production.
I’ve actually taken to emailing friends instead.
Because I’m not always up for the heavy sigh I get when finally “Found it! Thanks!”
Hotel security may or may not have made the following call…
“M’am we found a cell phone and you were listed as Mom…do you have an alternate way to get a hold of the owner?”
My ATM card?
In the back pocket of my jeans.
That I wore yesterday.
At the bottom of the hamper.
Which I remember while I’m checking out.
It’s a good thing God invented checkbooks and credit cards.
I feel like my brain has turned to mush the minute I had kids.
I used to be able to remember minute details.
Specific numbers and little itty bitty references.
I had the memory of an elephant (whatever that means).
Now?
I’m a disaster.
It’s any wonder I haven’t misplaced any of my children.
(I haven’t. In case you weren’t sure.)
I like to think it’s because I have more stuff to think about.
More important details to keep track of than pesky keys, phones and cards.
That’s all fluff, right?
I doubt it though.
I just think my brain has turned to mush.
Irreversibly.
Mashed Potatoes up between my ears.
Maybe it’ll firm up and come back someday.
Maybe.
All I know is that it takes some fussing around the house and an extra 10 minutes to get out the door.
Always.
So when I first heard this song on the radio, I fully started laughing.
I’m pretty sure Francesca wrote it and was thinking of me the whole time.
Or maybe it’s the plight of all women?
I’m really thinking one of these
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I’ve thought about investing in one of those too, however, then you can’t lose the clicker thingy that helps you find whatever its attached to. I can’t say that I wouldnt’ lose it.
PS…I’m glad I’m not the only one who resorts to emails asking for someone to call me. Or not knowing where my keys are. or my debit card.
This is too funny! Lori & I were just talking earlier today about “Mommy Brain”! I tried to console her that it does get better…and is even completely cureable…just prior to the beginning of “old timers”, which is what yours truly gets to deal with :) I’m sure every Mom (or woman for that matter) is laughing out loud! Hope your day is HAPPY!
Could I please copy and paste this to my blog? I am right there with you.
my keys are now attached to my vera bradley wallet. if i lose my keys i’m cut off. quite literally.
the only time i lose my phone is when it’s on silent. seriously. not joke.
that song? my theme song. totes.
purejoy´s last blog post ..tech rant 20
Oh me too! I keep hoping it will get better too. :)
this is literally the story of my life. the only reason i use facebook is to put a status of “call me. i lost my phone again” i NEVER know where anything is. i have serious memory loss or something. drives my hubs a little crazy. it’s so bad that i will wash my hair in the shower and not remember if i did or not and re shampoo like three times. kid you not. we buy a lot of shampoo.
danielle´s last blog post ..a love story
No, this study says that we mommies are actually SMARTER after having kids
http://news.discovery.com/human/mommy-brain-maternal-changes.html
Losing things is more connected to being surrounded by more pressing distractions. Who cares about always putting your keys in the same place once you enter your house when there are diapers and tears to deal with.
ummm, this is timely… yesterday i left my wallet in a shopping cart outside the dollar tree!!!! 3 hours later when i realized it, i called and the dollar tree had it in their safe. i picked it up – everything was there – i almost fell on my knees in the street praying thanks to God for good honest people. then i came home and i had left the door to the house wide open. mashed potatoes anyone? i feel ya, honey!!
I was reading this thinking “Hey! There’s a song about this!” I heard it a few times today. It made me smile! :) So did your post :)
Kelly´s last blog post ..A Celebration Of Love
You should try
http://www.wheresmycellphone.com/
I was skeptical at first but it’s totally free and you just type your cell and it will call it right away. I’ve used it countless times…
LOL! I completely feel that way. All the time. Thanks for providing a good laugh — We don’t have a home phone either… I often wonder what happens if I’m home alone and lose it. Now I know. I email someone! :)
We got rid of our home phone a few months ago and you don’t know how many times I’m facebook messaging my poor husband or friends to call my cell until I find it. When it’s only on vibrate. In my child’s hamper. With the lid on. UNDER a pile of clothes.
This post made me laugh more than any other. You are funny!
Jessica Johnson´s last blog post ..Back to the Basics
Hey google told me I should read your blog this morning, and let me tell you, the first half of that post sounds exactly like me! Only problem I haven’t had any kids yet…so now I’m worried it will only get worse…great.
I thought I should leave a comment about that finder thing though..I’m not sure how your kids are but I got one of those one year for Christmas and the kids in my life (cousins, younger brother and sister) thought it would be funny to see if I could find my stuff. It was a nightmare because they happen to be really good hiders.
I did misplace my child once. Actually forgot all about picking her up. It’s a long story, but when I remembered that I didn’t go pick her up at a friends house to bring her to preschool….as I was pulling into the preschool to pick her up at the end of the day, I burst out crying and wondered where my brain had gone too. So you are not alone and if you do misplace a child, know you still aren’t alone!