I just got back from Target.
Jilly strapped to my chest in her Ergo.
Lucy in the seat.
Henry in the back of the cart.
We are quite the sight.
I know this.
It’s impossible to not be noticed.
Most people just smile.
Some come over and oogle at the babies.
And then there was THIS lady:
I excused myself as I reached for the shampoo on the shelf in front of her.
“Are you babysitting or those all YOURS…???”
Her nose was scrunched up. Sneering.
“No, not babysitting. They’re *all* mine.”
Smiling. I’m used to this.
“That’s insane.”
Her disgust is painfully visible.
“Well, that’s what happens when you have a little boy and then twins!”
Still smiling.
“Oh Gawd…”
She is glaring at my kids. My kids who are silent. Not even so much as babbling. Quiet as church mice.
I looked at my cart full of babes. This is where I would normally just walk away.
But I didn’t this time.
“Really? You think three kids is a lot?”
Still smiling. Sticky sweet. Much sweeter than I actually am. Much nicer than what I *want* to say.
“Well, *I* had two kids…and now have two grandbabies…and that’s enough!”
Her tone changed here. From disgust to…offended.
It was weird.
Her posture straightened and she looked angry.
She stared at the shelves.
Presumably that I “talked back”?
I don’t know.
I wanted to snap back. “Look lady! YOU are the one who was offensive to ME. YOU were the one who was rude!!! Don’t you DARE get all angry with ME!!!!”
But I didn’t.
I walked away.
And then the icing on the cake.
The creme de la creme.
My sweet boy.
My not-yet 3 year old says:
“Mommy, she’s so lucky! She has babies!”
“Yes sweetie. You are right! She is so so so lucky to have babies!”
“Yeah! I love my babies! I have two sisters! I’m lucky too!!!”
I know she heard. I hope she heard.
The sweet heart of a little boy.
Who understands that babies are precious.
That babies make you lucky.
My heart sang.
But it also broke.
Because his comment reminded me that he is listening.
Absorbing.
Paying attention.
He hears the comments.
Soon he will understand the tone.
I hate that he hears the unkind words that paint him and his siblings as burdens.
Something icky.
Something people do not like.
I am reminded that I have to always reinforce that they are precious.
They are valuable.
I am lucky.
And I chuckled on my way home.
Sweet, I have a new blog post!
Thanks lady!
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Out of the mouths of babes. Go Henry!!
I can’t imagine what people will say if Kyle and I actually end up having 4 (or more) kids… yikes, better start steeling my self now…
my sister has 4 and she gets all sorts of comments ranging the gamete from “wow you must be busy” to “aren’t you exhausted?”. It’s a shame how people view large families these days, and it’s not like 3 is even large! My goodness, anyone watch 9 By Design? :)
.-= Andrea Howe´s last blog ..For the Love of A Child =-.
oh i get these comments all of the time, too! the one i get the most is “wow! you really have your hands full!”. so annoying!
i’m still shopping with my daughter loose and the boys in a stroller. both boys are too heavy for me to carry in any kind of baby carrier and the only carts that will fit all three or even just both of the boys are at sam’s club! i don’t want to buy everything in bulk! ;)
i enjoy reading your blog. it’s like we’re living similar lives! :) you’re awesome!
I think you need to let Henry start talking to these people…and Lucy chatter to them…how could their hearts not melt listening to that? Except pretty soon Henry will put them in their place :) Yay Hen!
You said it Henry!!! That lady is sad. You can teach that to Henry. She is to be pitied because she doesn’t get it. Emotional blindness. Too bad they don’t have a school for that. These discussions always remind me how Pastor Tim said that there is no reference in the Bible of children being a burden – ONLY a blessing. That is how God views these gifts He’s bestowed upon us, and that is what they are. Now excuse me, my children are nagging me for lunch…Children are a blessing, children are a blessing, children are a blessing…
Could you guys imagine if I had told her that we’re not even DONE yet! HA!
“Cardiac Arrest on aisle 3…”
Thanks for that post. We have 5 sweet children ages 2 to 9, who almost-always shop with me … so I get the looks and the questions a lot. Most people are polite, but the rude ones still shock me. As if it’s any of their business? As if they don’t notice that my kids are right there, listening? (What do I say, in front of my kids, to the old man who says “Looks like you need to get yourself a new hobby!” Yikes. I have yet to match the rudeness of some people when I respond.) To the typical “You’ve got your hands full!”, I generally respond, smiling, “I like them that way!”
And … one day, when my kids are all grown, I hope to be one of those sweet old ladies who says, “They remind me of ours when they were all little … you have such a nice family!”
I enjoyed reading that only b/c that happens to us all the time where we live. I only have my one sweet girl to. What is it with grumpy older people, espically grandparents!!! I hope she heard your son maybe she will think about how lucky she really is!!
I’m sorry can I please SLAP her?!!! She should be crying herself to sleep at night to have the audacity! I am so sorry – i look at mama’s with babies and smile – GOD is awesome! She will never know the joy us mamas have :)
.-= Krystina Montemurro´s last blog ..Sneak Peek into CKs ‘Scrapbooking Tips and Tricks’… & GIVEAWAY! =-.
Okay, I told a mom at my daughter’s pre-school today that she had her hands full. But I meant that she was holding her 3 year old and holding hands with her 5 year old and was on her way to pick up her carpool kids. So her hands were literally full. I hope she didn’t think I was implying that her 2 kids were too many, especially since my two kids are the same age as hers. But, I digress! I don’t get the comments you get. You have had 2 births, that’s fairly normal, God just gave you three kids. Big deal. Sure it’s a lot of work, and I am glad that my two births produced two kids. But I am so excited for a friend of mine having twins around Thanksgiving. I can’t wait to go to her house and hold her babies!!! And she is “crazy” too, because she is planning on having two more babies implanted when the twins turn one. And you know what, who cares? It’s her choice (and her husband’s). It makes no difference that I may think two set of twins under two years apart will be incredibly hard. I am sure she knows that already. It is my job to cheer her on, not talk her out of having babies. Okay, that was a whole rant, again! People are ridiculous! Oh and a server kept giving us dirty looks at a restaurant this weekend because our three year old had a meltdown. I assured her that we would have preferred to be at Wendy’s but the quaint little mountain town only had expensive restaurants. So sorry my family is ruining your shift. Okay, I am really done now. :) I hope you are having fun with your kids today. :)
My absolute FAVORITE quote of all time: “If you think my hands are full, you should see my heart!”.
I only have two, because two is all that I was able to have (I’m thinking about submitting my story in hopes of being a guest blogger….we’ll see…it’s a different kind of “rearranged” for sure!).
Anyways, My hands are full too…oh yes they are…..my boys are 5 and 13 (going on 18). Hands so very full. But…so is my heart ;)
When did 3 kids become a lot? I thought it was average. I had a teenage boy make a comment about me not caring about overpopulation at Target a few months ago. Ugh! I was so upset.
.-= Mari´s last blog ..Sass and Spunk =-.
Four kids is crazy but very doable. I just wish SOMEone had talked me out of getting a puppy.
what is it about people in Target! =)
he he… I have had a few ‘interesting’ run in’s in target…
you handled yourself beautifully! and
your babies are a blessing!
shame on her!
You are a lovely example to your babies! =)
I have to be completely honest and say that when i’m out and i see a mom with more than 2 kids (especially if they are very young…like under the age of 5 or so) i feel like she must be overwhelmed & drained. But ONLY if the kids are acting up, being snotty, not obeying, etc. If i see young children who are well-behaved and are just out enjoying an outing with their mother (as you seemed to be doing at Target), i definitely DON’T think that way.
I guess i’ve had too many bad experiences at grocery stores, restaurants, etc. where the children are obviously in charge and say and do whatever they please and the parents are happy to let them do that. That’s when i think to myself, “ugh, what a nightmare. I don’t ever want that to be my life!” But even then, i would never, ever be rude and voice my opinions to someone i didn’t know. :)
oh, henry! i love that he said that and that he thinks that. it’s so weird how people are so judgmental about the family size. i personally don’t want to have 8 kids, but hey, if you do, go ahead. it doesn’t really affect me. i can’t believe people are so rude to you about the kids. i have lots of people tell me that i must have my hands full, but they say it with a smile and they are right. they ALWAYS say that when i’m checking out of the store and have reminded the boys several times to stay out of the cooler and no thanks i don’t want a diet soda at 9 am and esther for the 5th time, no gum today. so, i usually agree with them in the moment, but i haven’t had anyone be rude. i kind of wish someone would be rude to me about it, because i’m ready for battle! sorry you have to deal with such people so frequently.
That’s so great! What a sweet boy! I have 3 of my own plus my two nieces who are with us 98% of the time so I have five between the ages of 2 & 8. I get a lot of weird, really weird, comments. My favorite was weird in a good way though. I was very pregnant with my 3rd boy and had taken the three older kids to Costco. I was just tired and flustered and the way anyone would be taking three kids to Costco. My kids are good, well-behaved kids but it’s still a lot of work. Anyway, as I was walking out a lady who had just loaded up her own kids (older than mine) and stuff in her car came over and asked if she could pray for me. She said she noticed me and just felt the Lord telling her to pray with me. She had no idea I was a Christian or how I would react to that but it was huge for me right at that moment. That was almost 3 years ago and it’s a moment I will NEVER forget and I hope one day I’ll get to pass on to another mama who’s lucky enough to have a cart full of kids. :)
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..A Different Kind Of Birthday =-.
I have 4 kids ages 5 mos to 7 years and I get that all the time, especially when they are standing there well behaved. I don’t understand why someone feels they need to comment at all. I don’t think I have my hands full and I wish I didn’t have to get the pity look because I love my life and my kids were wanted and planned to the month. I asked for them. Even if I did have my hands full why must they state the obvious??? I don’t go up to an extremely large paerson and say, “you’re pretty fat aren’t you?” That would be rude and none of my business. Sorry you had to encounter a rude, opinionated person but I love that Henry chimed in at the right moment.
Good for Henry! What a sweet little guy. I get looks and muttered comments, too, and I only have two little ones (I think it’s because they are close in age – 2 years and 4 months). Unless you’re asking them to babysit, people should keep their comments to themselves!
.-= Angela´s last blog ..Storytime =-.
Gosh. I can’t believe people are so rude. So glad Henry said something :)