I flat ironed my hair. Put on some make up. Dabbed a bit of perfume. Heck, I even put on a pair of pearl earrings and my latest Lisa Leonard necklace.
And dare I say it…I felt…well…cute.
I wasn’t wearing anything particularly special. A pair of khaki shorts and a black tank top. But it worked.
Walking around the store perusing the aisles, I walked past a large, full length mirror.
And I literally did a double take.
As in, I actually stopped…walked back…and leaned into the mirror.
HOLY. MOLY.
WHO…on EARTH is…THAT???
The first thing I noticed were the BAGS under my eyes. You couldn’t miss them. Apparently I’m tired. Who knew?
Next…my thighs. Whew. White. Not so firm. Seen better days. I make a mental note to do some squats. Soon.
My boobs. Huge. And not in a good way.
And those shorts? Yeah…you know when they creep up between your thighs because…you know…your thighs RUB TOGETHER??? Mmmmm. Attractive. Double the squats. Stat.
I took a deep breath.
“Don’t freak out. You just had twins 8 weeks ago. Hell, you look pretty decent if you consider that.“
And then SHE walked in.
Young. College girl. Maybe 21. Maybe. Teeny. Fresh faced. Perky. Strawberry lip gloss. (I know this because you could actually smell it).
She grinned at the girls.
Her perfect hair and perfect skin and perfect toosh.
I wanted to blurt out: “I swear I’m not this gross all the time! Really!”
Or worse: “Smile through those pouty pink lips all you want sweetie. Check back with me when you’ve had three kids.” (meow)
Neurosis, anyone?
Seriously. The poor girl didn’t even say a WORD to me. Geez.
And then, the injustice to trump all injustices:
The girls needed to eat. Andy was still being measured and shopping.
So I nursed them.
In a fitting room.
With bad flourescent lighting.
And a full length mirror right in front of me.
And I couldn’t look anywhere else.
Sigh…
Okay, so I know that I gotta give myself a break. And I do. I’m not really beating myself up too much. I did, after all, have three kids in 25 months.
I get it.
It was just a weird reality check.
You know, to look in a mirror and honestly barely recognize yourself.
Crazy.
Besides, it makes a good blog post. :)
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I've been feeling that way too. Forget swimsuits … I haven't worn a dress or shorts in public in over a year … and I won't. I don't suppose that me telling you that you looked so astoundingly good a few weeks ago when I bumped into in the courtyard at church but didn't have a chance to talk – will help?
Jacquelyn-Funny you should say that…I actually didn't recognize you at first…you looked GREAT! :)
Ah, the joys of nursing in a dressing room. You DO look great, but I understand. For me, it's pictures that I don't recognize myself in. Oh, fantastic.
oh, Jeannett, I do LOVE your humor in your honesty!!! With me, it is "who is that OLD WOMAN??!!" (my aunt told me that when she turned 80 – I only have 15 years to go!!!!!!!!) Also, here is a factoid that your comment reminded me of: my mother-in-law had FOUR kids in 25 months (yep, twins, 10 month old and 25 month old!)
so, so, sorry, I forgot to say that you do look GREAT, sweetie!!!
Yep. I actually let out a little scream once when I looked in the mirror I was so surprised by what I saw.
=)
Oh J… ever think the 21 year old has idealized your life? I mean what college girl doesn't think that cute babies, 2 dogs, a beautiful house and a husband that plays basketball isn't the American Dream?? She most likely thinks you have it made!! (and you do:-) love ya! b
Ha! My sister (Kate) and I tried on clothes before our other sister's wedding. We were in stiches in the dressing room – thinking back to just 5 years earlier when we were perky little farts. She took a picture on her cell phone and likes to send it to me every now and then. Gosh…
Oh NO! was she one of those girls who when
they just randomly throw there hair up in a ponytail
in seconds suddenly it's perfectly straight and every hair is where it was suppose to be? Or when they wake up in the morning they look like a make-up stylist touched them up before the alarm went off with rosey cheeks, pink glossy lips and hair that looks like it has just been brushed 100 times and styled? Oh those girls there not normal human girls there T-1000s, cybernetic organisms, also known as cyborgs sent to destroy the average woman, day to day girl! It's our mission to destroy these perfect 10s, hotties,non malfunctoning girls!!
Ok it's to much I know I woke up to pee, couldn't back to sleep checked out your blog and decided to comment! My mind tends to overthink things and I obviously skipped on over to the Terminator side but it makes sense the pieces all fit lol….LMAO ok back to bed!
Oh and one last thing how us it when I tie my hair up in a ponytail there's always a huge bump on top, groves on the sides and random little curly hairs , that i swear weren't there yesterday sticking out!!! Must be the naps we must endure, unlike there silky perfect bouncy Pantene Pro-v Barbie hair! Officially done and delirious back to bed!
TOTALLY blog hopping today…loved this post :) Because I've been there…(*ahem*-I AM there). I've frowned at myself many a time while nursing in a dressing room…
Hee hee, I often think this phrase, "check back with me 10 yrs and 2-5 ish kiddos later, honey" ALL.THE.TIME. :)