How did that happen?
It feels like it *flew* by…
…but individual days dragged on.
Funny how that is.
One month into the adventure that is twins, we are constantly asked:
“So, how is it with two?”
Well, the answer to that is…it’s going really well. In many ways, it isn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be. Granted, they still sleep for the better part of the day, so I have a feeling that the answer to that question will change every few months throughout their lives.
I will say, however, that when things get hairy…they are REALLY hairy. The hardest part of having two newborns (and a toddler) is when everyone is awake at the same time and all want attention…NOW…and you are the only adult home. I have mastered holding two littles at once, but if someone spits out their paci, it takes some careful manuevering and balancing to get it back in. And usually results in disrupting the other who was previously happy as a clam to lay there undisturbed. So now you’ve basically just switched the crying baby. All the while Henry is screaming for “APPLE JUICE!“
The other huge challenge is just getting a break. As much as we try to keep them on a schedule, it doesn’t always work. It seems like you can never get more than 15 minutes at a time with both of them quiet and sleeping. So it’s tiring. And you feel really stretched…and like you aren’t giving ANY of your kids the time, attention, and love they deserve and need.
I remember rocking Henry in the still quiet of the morning and just watching him sleep. Trying to memorize every curve and the sweet softness of his tiny face. Examining the creases in his fingers and the littleness of his toes. Watching in wonder as his chest rose and fell with each sweet breath. Amazed at the awesomeness of our God. Moments of quiet and uninterrupted bonding.
I can’t say I’ve been able to do much of that with the girls. I just don’t get very much time where I can actually spend with each of them individually. There is a sense of mourning that comes with that realization. That because there are two of them at the same time, I miss out on some of the newborn sweetness….and because of the constant pull from double the baby, you find yourself in Survival Mode. Just trying to make it from one day to the next…no, make that one feeding to the next…and you worry that you are missing out on this precious time. Time that is flying by much too quickly. Time that you will *never* get back.
Guilty. That you aren’t dividing your time equally. Lucy dominates my energy and I often wistfully look over at a peaceful Jill in her bouncy chair. Alone. Content. But alone. So, I put Lu down and let her scream so that her poor sister isn’t so neglected. And then I feel bad again…that my other tiny babe is so angry and doesn’t understand why I’m ignoring her pleas.
The other day Jill was still sleeping and I was able to get a few quiet moments with a happy Lucy. And I couldn’t help but think how much easier one baby is. Not to say that having a singleton IS easy…because it’s not…but that it’s easIER than twins. You aren’t so frazzled and torn…you can still manage to do things around the house one-handed…you can load one up into the Moby Wrap and still cook dinner…you can run an errand with relative ease. None of which you can do with two.
I wouldn’t change my two girlies for the world. Twins also brings with it joys that you could never experience with a singleton. Joys that I am only just now discovering. The bond these sisters share…how they calm down if you put them close to one another…how they don’t mind if you balance their sister on TOP of them while you get out of a chair…it’s too precious.
The one thing that is constant with one baby or two is how quickly time flies by and how you know deep down that it will only be in the blink of an eye that they are graduating from high school or getting married or moving out.
And that freaks a mom out.
No matter how many babies she has.
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I don't know if this "helpful" at all, I think we have all felt a little bit of what you are expressing today. It gets more complicated and way less leisurely with each kid. I'm not saying I understand what it is to have 2 babies to care for but just know that you'd still have a little bit of the same thing even if you had a singleton. But, can I say, that all 3 of your kids are so stinkin' cute and I love the girls in their coordinating outfits. And, I can't believe it's been 1 month either! That's so crazy–did you start filling out college apps yet? :)
One month ago we were spending the wee hours of the morning praying for you and these little ones? Wow! Unbelievable! As I'm reading your blog today, I remember the days when I had my two little girlies (22mos. apart) and sometimes felt like I had twins. But you will get through it, and as you said, time will fly and they will be gone. Enjoy the time you can have with each one and don't feel guilty. You do only have two hands.
Love the outfits, the individuality they have and how sweet they are. Whether you had 1 or 8, when you have a toddler on top of it, it's hard to find the time to examine the next ones like you did the first. Don't feel guilty or neglectful. It's life and they have each other to hang on to! You are doing an awesome job Jeannett! I can't tell you how proud I am of you and the job you are doing (listen to me) with those sweeties…ALL of them! Henry is adjusting wonderfully and is so adorable too! Keep up the good work! Remember, I'm just a phone call away…5 minutes.
Oh,the sweetness that is your family. I echo what Joy said. I remember feeling what you described when Marissa was little. There was definite mourning. I guess we really only get to savor our firstborns as babies, but oh, there is other savoring with subsequent kids that more than makes up for it!!!
You express yourself SO WELL, I feel like I can completely understand how you feel (even though I haven't walked in your shoes). I think some of the things you mentioned are what's keeping me from being able to think about having another child at this point.
You are a great mom…those girls and Henry are so lucky to have you :)
HUGS!
I just found your blog via an acquaintance. You are me 8 months ago! I have 9 month old twin girls (identical) and my son turns 3 next month. You expressed exactly my emotions about sharing time with all 3 kids. My son just wants to play with my while the girls constantly have needs. One of the girls is "less tolerant of the necessary neglect" and need to be held often but it doesn't seem fair to the mellow one. (Thank God there is a mellow one.) As I sit at work pumping while reading this my bottles "runneth over". What am I to do? Wet pants again. Oh well… what's new. Note- It gets easier & harder. You'll need your sense of humor to get through.