Then:
Let’s take a field trip in my time machine…close your eyes…wait, you’re reading…okay, just imagine…
As many of you know, I had planned for a homebirth with Henry. I had read all 10 of the required books, taken the classes, did all my homework, taken my all-natural supplements…
…I had my stork supplies ready to go, sitting in a box in the corner of my dining room, the deposit was paid on my birthing tub…
Thursday, June 21st, the first day of my maternity leave, I spent the day doing baby laundry, skimming my Bradley Birth Book and otherwise hanging out.
At about 8:30 p.m. I decided to take a bath. Lit some scented candles.
I read the Week 36 chapter in “Your Pregnancy Week by Week” book.
I felt something…ignored it. I knew that I had poor bladder control at this point, but I didn’t want to think about it too much or it would gross me out and I would have to take a shower…and I really didn’t feel like taking a shower…
As I stepped out of the bathtub, the moment my foot hit the linoleum floor, I felt a huge gush.
My water had broken.
At that exact second, I heard the kitchen door open.
Andy was home from basketball.
I immediately started sobbing.
Hysterical.
I was only 36 weeks and 4 days pregnant…
…and my midwife was in Oregon. A 13 hour drive away.
I yelled “NO! NO! NO!” Thinking that if I cried loud enough, it would stop.
It didn’t.
It just kept coming. More water than I knew possible.
My visions, hopes, dreams, hard work and research for a homebirth had gone up in smoke right before my very eyes.
Fast forward a few hours later: I am lying in bed laboring. Andy is diligently timing my contractions and tracking it all on a pad of paper.
Suddenly, I gasp.
“What’s wrong?! Are you okay???!!! What happened? Do we need to leave?!”
“A bag, Andy! A hospital bag! I don’t have one packed!”
“Crap! What do I put in it?”
“I have no idea!…go find my pregnancy book, I think I remember seeing a list in there…”
I quickly skim the index in the back of the book….”H”….Hospital Bag….page 192…
I read off the list between contractions as Andy rushes around the house throwing things into a duffel…
“Clothing for mom”
“Okay, which ones?”
“ANDY I DON’T CARE, THIS ISN’T A FASHION SHOW, JUST FIND SOMETHING!!!” (Through gritted teeth and a contraction).
“Underwear”
“Which ones?”
“AnDREW…!!!!”
28 hours from my water breaking, I had my new munchkin in my arms.
Eventually, I needed a shower.
It was then that I realized my mistake:
He had packed thongs.
Now:
Packed. Ready to go. Way too early. I may even have to dust the bag off before we go.
But at least I’ll have gigantic cotton maternity undies awaiting me when I need it.
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i’m totally laughing imagining those huge mongo pads (which i love after birthing a baby) and the ice packs (which i also adore) hanging out of a thong. great mental image.
You totally crack me up, Jeannett!!! I love this. Like Joy said, that image is just TMI. But, I love the red bag. Hopefully, things will go smoother for you with these two girls. Love you.
Ha, Ha, Ha. I’m totally laughing out loud!
hiLARious!
I was laughing because my first thought was, “Good thinking, Andy, packing thongs for her to wear in the shower- you don’t want to get athlete’s foot in the hospital.”
Then it hit me. Ohhhh… THONGS.
Did he miss those classes that talked about how much stuff would be coming out of you for those first days?
i can always count on you for a good laugh!