Autopsy results have found that Fishy did not, in fact, commit suicide.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen…it was something much more sinister:
Involuntary fish-slaughter.
Apparently when the City of Santa Maria added fluoride to their tap water, they also printed an article in the newspaper letting its great citizenry know that they would need to treat their water with drops because the tap water would be unsuitable for fishes.
Apparently I missed that article.
I drove our fish to hysterics.
So sad.
Insert remorse here.
(Penny, want me to bring over a bottle of water?)
I'm a mom to four. A wife to one. I believe in story. I love telling you about mine and would love to hear yours. There's really no sense in wasting our suffering and not sharing in each other's joy. We're all in this together...even if it doesn't always feel like it.
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Ahh, yes. When I was teaching we made terrariums and we had to use distilled water or let tap water sit for a full 24 hours before using it. I bet that’s why. Poor fishy!
We actually have fluoride in our water, too. Yes, we have the drops. No, I don’t use them anymore. Think of me what you will, but Ted promised when he brought it home that “betas only live a few months, tops.”
WRONG.
FISH KILLER!