These pictures are actually from a few months ago. It’s a tad cold out for tank tops. :)
If you’re new here, I should probably let you know that there is something weird about me.
I have secret powers.
No, I can’t fly or crush cans on my forehead.
Although that would be cool.
The flying, not the cans.
I have a magical sign on my back.
It says something like:
“Be rude to me. I love it.”
I keep looking and looking, but I can’t see it…you know, so as to remove said sign.
I’m now convinced it’s made of a special polymer that everyone but me can see.
Kinda like a cape.
Only not as cool.
And said sign, I do believe, glows neon when I’m at Costco.
Why at Costco moreso than anywhere else is anyone’s guess.
Maybe the 5 gallon buckets of mayonnaise activate the sign’s magical powers.
Like Kryptonite, only different.
Because when I am at Costco, people feel the need to say whatever random thing comes to their mind.
And I think to myself: I wonder if I’ll get a blog post out of today’s visit?
Case in point:
Earlier this week.
My kids are quiet as church mice.
IN FACT…Lucy has recently taken to spontaneously hugging her sister.
Big, giant, makes a mama well up bear hugs.
And sweet Lu was *literally* hugging her sister as the following conversation took place between myself and a random older woman:
“Are these ALL YOURS?!”
Scrunched nose and all.
“Yup! All three.”
{Because, you know, three kids is such an astronomical number?}
“Oh my god…”
{Here we go.}
“Yup, a three year old and twin girls. Henry say hello. Be polite.”
“Hi.”
Sweet. Kind. Well mannered. My kids have yet to make a single sound outside of Henry’s hello.*
Her nose still scrunched up.
It appears as if she had just stepped in a pile of dog crap.
Only she didn’t.
Her husband ambles up.
“These are all hers.”
She points.
Waves her crooked, veiny finger all around.
By now I’m bristling. I can feel the hairs on the back of my neck standing.
Really you old hag? Really?!
My daughters are LITERALLY hugging eachother and my son was obedient and polite and you are still being all passive aggressive and ugly?!
I couldn’t help it.
The opportunity was too perfect.
“And another on the way!”
I was secretly hoping she’d have a heart attack right there by the 4,000 count boxes of tampons.
Because that would be an obituary fit for a frame.
Instead, her face softened…she put her wrinkled hand on my shoulder.
{Oh cool. She’s done being lame.}
“Oh you poor, poor thing! I’m so so sorry!”
I started laughing.
Like actually, fully cracking up.
“No, no honey. Do not be sorry! I have kids, not cancer! It is a good thing! Children are GOOD. We are so excited! We have fun. We laugh. All the time. I’m actually sorry that YOU think it’s bad. My kids love each other. And I love them.”
I think I disarmed her.
By now Lucy was now giving Jill sloppy, drooly kisses.
“You know…actually…we have two. But they are 4 years apart. And they were never friends. They never got along. Even now as adults they aren’t friends.”
{yeah, probably because you’re a hard hearted hag and it rubbed off on them…}
“I’m sorry to hear that. That’s really unfortunate.”
“Well…good luck to you. Your children are beautiful.”
“Thanks! Have a great day!”
{You dumb, mean, crotchety, wrinkled broad.}
Have a little pep in your step woman!
Because right now, you basically suck.
And it makes me happy that I messed with your head today.
Plus, I kinda didn’t know what to blog about, so you gave me a great post.
So thanks for that.
*disclaimer: my kids are not always so well behaved. In fact, the last couple of days I’ve wanted to give them away to the highest bidder. My neighbors probably want to call CPS on me with all the yelling I’ve been doing. But they typically do really well at stores. In fact, oftentimes if they are acting all crazy at home, I’ll load them up and take them to Toys R Us…not to buy anything…but because they actually behave better. And actually, Costco is one of the easiest places for me to take them. They love Costco. I think it’s the free samples. They’re weird. But I’ll take it.
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Ha! I wish my kids liked to shop…I’m glad you messed with her just a tiny bit!! :)
Thanks for the laugh today Jeannett! I needed it! :)
Katie´s last blog post ..Mouse!
I so get you on this. And Costco is one of the easiest place to take multiple little children. I think it’s the double carts. I get a lot of weird comments at Costco too. My favorite ever came from there in fact but it was more funny than rude.
I know what it’s like to get rude/weird/funny comments and to get very annoyed with them but I think I’m mostly sad for this lady who talked to you. Her kids don’t like each other, never have & probably never will. She probably never knew what it was like to have a home like yours – fun, laughter, noise. She’ll probably never have all her family all together again now that they’re all grown up and still don’t like each other. That’s sad and probably explains the scrunched up nose & bitter heart.
Kelly´s last blog post ..On Blogging
I think that is so crappy of that lady, but it is so funny that you told her you had kids not cancer! :) Great response!
Have a great day! Thanks for making me laugh out loud!
It’s sad, isn’t it, that some people – especially older people – feel like they have the right to comment and sometimes even give advice to young strangers.
This lady was so, so out of line.
I mean, let her think what she wants. If she thought you were crazy for having 3 and another on the way, it’s her prerogative. But to voice those thoughts? To a total stranger? How dare she!
It happened to me once, in a White Castle of all places. My normally perfect-angel of a one year old was throwing a little bit of a fit. He’d never done that before, nor since. I mean, I was really, really lucky he was so well-behaved (of course, he grew up, became a teenager, and then things changed).
But this lady comes over to me and has the nerve to say, “You know, if you’d put a hand to his bottom, he wouldn’t behave that way.”
I didn’t even respond. I was just so shocked. But it was almost 20 years ago, and I’ve never forgotten it.
AWESOME! I couldnt help but picture this: http://ecbacc.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/pow_300.gif
when I read your response.
Ok, that was the best comeback EVER.
What is with that, btw? I have three and I hear that all of the time “All of them?!?!?!” I don’t think three is such a large bunch of kids (ok some days, yes, but you know what I mean). Gosh, I know women who have 8, 9, 12 kids!
Children are wonderful. Despite my slowly oozing away sanity, I love them fiercely. They’ve brought nothing but light and good to my life and I’m sure you feel the same.
Rebekah C´s last blog post ..Real Friends!
GOOD FOR YOU! some people just have no tact and need to be put in their place. Bravo!
stephanie´s last blog post ..Amelia Island
i think you showed great restraint for not kicking her in the shins or having a child vomit on her. {now THAT would be an awesome super power, don’t you think!? projective vomiting on demand… brilliant}
she deserved that AND holding an infant with a blowout diaper.
purejoy´s last blog post ..all quiet on the home front
You know – I mostly just get pity looks, because no one will actually talk to me. And if they do, I usually get a look of intense sorrow as they realize the severe disabilities we live with. I’m really tired of making everyone else feel better! We’re not actually sad all the time, you know! Life is life!
Jenny´s last blog post ..Go Ducks Go!
Wow! I hope I never come across like that old lady… I’m ALWAYS in awe of people with more than one child, b/c I just have the one and even though I love her and LOVE being her Momma, it’s HARD sometimes! (she’s a teenager now). So, anytime I see someone w/ more than one, I try to give kudos b/c seriously… I don’t know if I could do it.
Jodi´s last blog post ..A list
I’ve had a lot of people look at me weird when I say I have 5 children. Some in admiration, most thinking I’m downright crazy, stupid, or crowding the population. I guess they don’t know my friends with 7 and 9 children. I grew up in a family with 7 children, and I think it’s sad when someone has that attitude only because they have never experienced the crazy joy that happens in a family with lots of kids.
I’m actually enjoying the horror on people’s faces when they ask me, “Is this your first?” and I tell them that it’s my fifth. I’m so glad you can approach disdain with a healthy dose of humor. Some people really have no idea what a blessing children are, fortunately, you do! Congratulations … again :)
Love it! Good for you :) I have 3 as well and people do act like I’ve given birth to a baseball team! And they say things like, “bet you can’t wait to they’re out of your hair.” Um no actually I CAN wait, I want them little for as long as possible. Geez why do some people even have children if they think like that?
Shirley L´s last blog post ..For Bill
people can be so unbelievably rude! good for you for handling it so well.
Whoo-hoo, Jeannett! Way to go!!!!
Oooh! I love your response!
“No, no honey. Do not be sorry! I have kids, not cancer! It is a good thing! Children are GOOD. We are so excited! We have fun. We laugh. All the time. I’m actually sorry that YOU think it’s bad. My kids love each other. And I love them.”
LOVE IT!
I had a similar experience, but mine weren’t being as quiet. But it wasn’t quite so obnoxious that I was annoyed and I’m annoyed by noise quite easily – terrible trait to have as a mother and a 2nd grade teacher :) My 18 mo daughter was chattering and my son singing as I perused the ice cream at Albertson’s. This crotchety old woman full on puts her hands over her ears and starts huffing and hemming and hawing. I almost died. She continued for about 30 seconds as I finished up. As I walked away I said – You obviously don’t have children. She said – obviously. I said – Well, I feel sorry for you. And walked away and started crying. The random man that was witnessing the entire thing said – I would’ve kicked her, but I think she might have enjoyed it.
She probably would have.
I love your response. I’m putting that in my back pocket.
Kyla´s last blog post ..Valentine Subway Art- In Action
I’m so glad you said something to that womeanie!! What happened to “if you can’t say anything nice, keep your mouth closed?”
Although, I did tease the Hades out of my friend when she had her 4th. I said, ‘you know what causes that, right?’ I thought she was going to take me out. Literally. Cuz she’s a cop and has that firearm thingy.
Hugs,
Caryl
Oh, I so loved this post. I have four kids (well, actually 3 are adults now and probably don’t want me to call them kids) and I have heard it all. “Do you know how that happens?”,” Are you guys insane?”, ” I could never do that?”, to the most rude,” I’m sorry”.
When I grew up all my friends came from families of 5-7 kids and no one thought anything of it. It’s amazing how much changes in a few generations. thanks for the post.
Cathy´s last blog post ..More Southern Snow
i love this. it made me laugh out loud. i don’t have kids yet, but we plan on having a big family. even telling people that, we’ve gotten some crazy rude responses. most people are aghast that someone in this day and age would even consider having four children on purpose. i can’t wait for the noise and craziness of it all. for me, that’s what life is all about. they’re the strange ones. glad to see you’re able to have a sense of humor about it too! :)
Things just don’t change do they? My mom (she’s 88yrs) had that from strangers way back in the ’50s when she only had 4 of us (#5 came in ’64), I had it in the ’80’s when I only had 3 and now when I say I had 4 kids (my baby is 21) I STILL get the “so many!” comments. When someone said that I had my hands full I replied “no I don’t, that’s why I have this!” and pointed to #3 in the Snugli strapped to my chest. (I’m the “3 days later” retorter so that was actually a good one for me)
Love your response, “kids not cancer” and telling her about the joy of being a parent. You go ‘Mom’! You tell ’em!
Libby´s last blog post ..Spontaneous play leads to making robots and discovering atoms!
Oh goodness my blood is boiling at that woman! Great comeback!
One of the rudest comments I got was when I was pregnant with Kaitlyn and we were out to dinner with a group of people, without any kids with us. Someone there we didn’t know found out we had three kids with one more on the way and rudely said to Kevin in disgust, “Gosh, you guys need to get a TV.” Ugh. Because, you know, TWO biological children is just SO many, and I guess my sons don’t deserve a family or something. Gag, gag, gag.
Okay, done venting. I’m so annoyed this happened to you, but I guess I’m glad it’s not just me. :)
Brianna´s last blog post ..LOST- it is finished!
Some people. Seriously. I mean really – it’s “only” FOUR kids! I love the different reactions I get when people ask if it’s my 1st and I say it’s my 4th. My friend is due withe her 9th….can you imagine the reactions SHE gets?! I’m thinking crickets…..
people just need to mind their own business.
Lindsay´s last blog post ..Box Car Children