Disclosure: I wrote this post as part of my participation in a blog tour for The Motherhood on behalf of the makers of Children’s MOTRIN® and received compensation to thank me for taking the time to participate. However, all opinions expressed are my own.
There was a day last week that was particularly awful.
So awful, in fact, that besides the obvious Jilly Had a Seizure, or some other Emergency Room Malady, it was hands down one of the top 3 worst days of my mama life.
(I say top 3 because I’m sure there were some early newborn twin days that would be right up there, and my mashed potato brain is forgetting them. Grace.)
The Porkchop was in particularly full naughty form. Normally, he’s the kind of naughty that you can laugh at and it’s really not horribly naughty. Just precocious, really. #PrecociousPorkchop might be a more fitting hashtag.
But not the other day.
The other day was Naughty with a capital N. With a little blonde sidekick to boot. Put those two together, and it’s no bueno.
It started with this:
Those are plastic gems. Approximately ONE POUND of plastic gems. Some are big, some are medium, some are small.
And some? Some are downright MICROSCOPIC.
Strewn. On carpet.
Trust you me, a good portion of those were vacuumed right up.
No more than ten minutes later, I found an entire bucket of rainbow loom bands tossed in the air and waved all around like they just don’t care.
Then there was the Family Sized bag of sour cream and onion chips that was fought over and the foil bag subsequently ripped apart.
Chips for days.
Did I mention I had just mopped a few hours earlier?
A glass of water. First dumped. And then shattered.
Barefeet all around. Taunting the bandaid jar.
I have no idea what got into them. But somehow, they managed to find every single craft product that contained a minimum of 4,000 pieces and had a confetti party like it was New Year’s Eve in NYC.
Every yime I turned around, I heard the gentle tinkling of SOMETHING that had no business tinkling.
Add to it, the hysteria because Mean Mom came and took it all away.
The crying from the Bigs who had to help clean it up (because even though they didn’t make the mess, they weren’t careful enough with their things to put them up high as directed).
It was a four hour whirlwind of excruciating messes and tears. To a degree I had never experienced before.
To the point where Lucy, sobbing, asked me:
“Remember when I was three years old and you went to the hospital and you told the doctor to take the baby out of your tummy? And remember how that baby was Owen? WHY DID YOU DO THAT? YOU SHOULD’T HAVE TOLD THE DOCTOR TO TAKE HIM OUT!!!!!!”
To the point where Henry put himself to bed at 7:15 so that “the day will be over faster, so nothing else can go wrong.”
No lie. It was BAAAAD.
And I wonder, bewildered and wild eyed WHAT AM I DOING WRONG???!!!
Surely, other moms have it more together than this. Surely, we are the MOST INSANE FAMILY IN THE HISTORY OF FAMILIES.
Because I see the other families. With their quiet little charges. Hair combed and wearing the latest in boutique fashions. They don’t have crazy days where they literally lock themselves in their closets and cry. They don’t have days when they wonder if the neighbors are going to call CPS because clearly there is death and destruction going on Over There.
And it makes days like The Other Day so much more excruciating. So much harder. So much more awful, no good, terrible, bad days.
It makes me want to move to Australia.
But then, there are little peeks.
And the cool as a cucumber mom that I swear I cannot imagine raising her voice even one decibel sees me in the hallway at church and admits that there were three different time outs that morning alone.
Another mom overhears this and says “Just three?” and laughs that weary I Get It Too Well laugh that moms have mastered.
And I literally almost burst into tears right then and there because IT’S NOT JUST ME. I’M NOT A MISERABLE FAILURE! WE ALL ARE!!!!
Or really, none of us are.
And then the mom of five. The one with grown children that I’ve watched grow and get married and hold babies, the children I would be THRILLED for my own to be like when they themselves are grown, says to me: “You are such a good mom. I’m so impressed.”
And I well with tears because there is not one part of me in that moment that feels that way.
And I tell her that. I admit that it might look good right now. On this sunny Saturday. But stop by my house on a Tuesday afternoon, and she wouldn’t be saying that.
And she laughed that I Get It Too Well laugh that she has mastered and says
“I had those Tuesdays. And Wednesdays. And Thursdays. I often felt like a complete disaster and wondered how on earth I had five children. Because there is nothing in my personality that would equip me to be a mom to FIVE. I like to sleep in. I’m disorganized. Absent minded. But you get through. And you’ll get through. You’re doing great.”
It was all I could do to not simultaneously bawl my eyes out and whoop for joy. If SHE felt like a disaster some days, this mom I would pay handsomely to be like, well then…
You see, we’re all in the trenches. It’s all up close and personal and really, really ugly some days. Kinda like those weird paintings they had in malls in the 90’s where it was just a jumble of random dots, but if you stared at it long enough…stepped back a few feet…tilted your head…adjusted your perspective…it was a sailboat. A FREAKING SAILBOAT!!!! THERE IT WAS!!!! In glorious, polka dotted 3D.
And that mom of five that I’ve admired from afar for years, she told me this little nugget. And I want to tell you too:
“If you take the time to worry that you’re doing it all wrong, chances are, you’re doing it all pretty good.”
The truth is, you just gotta Keep On Keeping On. For as miserable as That Day was, the next day was fine. Not perfect, but mostly normal. And yesterday was great. And today’s looking pretty decent too. I don’t know about tomorrow, but Keep On Keeping On. Be Unstoppable.
And remember: no matter what you think you see in others, you’re not the only one.
My instagram feed may look mostly pretty, but it’s not because I’m trying to hide the Ugly. Just that I don’t have the time to capture it, because I’m too busy trying to SURVIVE it.
Do not be fooled by the filters, my friends. Do not be fooled.
The makers of Children’s MOTRIN® are asking Moms to post their tips and tricks to the MOTRIN® Facebook page under each week’s Kelly Ripa question video and for every post, Children’s MOTRIN® will donate $1 to Safe Kids Worldwide, a global nonprofit that provides moms with the tips they need to help keep their children safe. Moms could even win weekly giveaways of $100 gift cards just for posting.*
*NO PURCHASE NECESSARY, OPEN TO LEGAL RESIDENTS OF THE 50 UNITED STATES & D.C., 18 AND OLDER. VOID HERE PROHIBITED. Promotion ends 11:59p.m. ET 12/28/14. Sponsor will donate $1 for each approved Submission made as part of the promotion, with a minimum donation of $30,000 and a maximum donation of $50,000. For Official Rules, and complete details, visit www.unstoppablemoms.com. Sponsor: McNeil Consumer Healthcare Division of McNEIL-PPC, Inc. To learn more about Safe Kids Worldwide visit safekids.org.
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Ahhhhh Lucy. I’m sitting here in one of your moms favorite antique store laughing so hard I would have scared the customers away. Might be one of the funniest lines ever. I used to survive those days sometimes in tears and sometimes saying I’m going to put you all in a plastic bag in the hall closet. I never did but humor is how you survive. For those that do not have more then two children when you have three or more it’s like you had two and then you had ten. Only two hands two ears two eyes one mouth and no brain cells left. I swear they fell out on delivery. Hang in there, your wonderful. This too shall pass. See you in Disneyland.
I am pregnant with number 6. We homeschool. I have days like yours quite often. Someone asked me recently for parenting advice. I got nothing. Truly. On my own, nothing. The only reason I can do this is because of an unbelievably gracious Father. Amen.
We’ve never met but I think you’re an amazing mom. This parenting gig ain’t no joke, and I only have one child. I come from a family of 5 and that was so crazy us three oldest only had ONE child each, and I waited until I was almost 40. (The other 2 have NONE!) Parenting at all times is hard, wonderful, scary, and magical at once. And it’s made me the maddest I’ve ever been and the most grateful.
Best,
Caryl