Today is Henry’s 7th birthday.
First of all, NOT okay.
“Hey buddy, what kind of cake do you want?”
“What shaped pans do you have…maybe I can just do one you already have so you don’t have to go buy one…”
“Whoa, wait. All of mom’s cake stuff is packed. I was going to order you a cake from the grocery store. I meant what flavors…”
“WHAT?! You’re not making me a cake for my birthday????!!! But you ALWAYS make us cakes!!!”
“Henry, you’ll have a birthday cake. I just have to buy it this year. But you’ll still have one.”
“But mom, you always make us cool cakes. I wanted Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. And you’d make it with all those teeny tiny stars of frosting. You ALWAYS make our cakes.”
Eventually he calmed down when I promised I would see if the grocery store could put little ninja turtle figures on top or something. It would still be a cool cake. Just that the grocery store lady would make it.
* * * *
Official move day is Thursday. So things like shaped cake pans and all the fancy icing tips and bags have long been packed. Some of the first non-essentials that made its way into boxes in the garage. And most definitely at the bottom of the pile. I knew his birthday would fall just before our move, but I also knew that three days before big trucks pull into our driveway ready to load everything up, was not the time I would be able to pipe itty bitty stars of food coloring laden stars onto a cake for hours.
I didn’t forget.
But I also didn’t think he would care.
Frankly, that he would even notice.
Because we mamas, we Do.
We Do and Do and Do.
And we all Do different things.
Some of us bake cakes. Some sew Halloween costumes. Some play tea parties. Some hike and ride bikes.
We all have our own brand of Love.
The things we do to serve our families. Faithfully. Creating traditions. Quietly. Often when our husbands and littles are fast asleep. We stir, and whir, and baste, and stitch, and plan when the house is still and our lids are heavy.
Maybe you throw Pinterest worthy parties. Maybe you scotch tape streamers to the ceiling. Maybe you feed all organic, gluten free, locally sourced, free range. Maybe you’ll bring home Happy Meals on the way home from work. This isn’t really about baking cakes, you know. It isn’t about the What.
No matter what your brand is: WE WORK HARD behind the scenes.
And if we’re honest, we wonder if anyone notices.
If we stopped right now, sure the world would keep spinning and nothing too horrible would likely happen…but would anyone even notice that we stopped at all?
And while I felt a pang of guilt that I had packed away my tackle box of fancy decorating supplies, bought all those years ago when we were newlyweds and had the evenings free to take random classes at the craft store, it felt nice that my little 6, almost 7, year old knew that the mama bakes the cakes.
Every year.
So an encouragement to my mama friends: they may not thank you very often. They may whine and complain in spite of your weaving and creating of memories. You might be the only one awake blowing up balloons and researching recipes.
But they notice.
They may not tell you at 7 years old…but 15 years from now…gathered around a holiday table, adults exchanging stories, they will recount the years of the Hello Kitty cake and the Star Wars costumes. And you’ll still be clearing the table, after having cooked the bulk of the meal, and your back will be aching and your hair will be grayer…but you will smile behind watery eyes.
Because it’s what we mamas Do.
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I love this!! Not a mom myself yet, but there are so many small things I remember my mom doing that were so special. When we talk about some of them now, she’s like “how do you even remember that?!” but to us kids, it was something Mom did and it’s special.
Good luck with the move!
Yeah, the watery eye thing.. doing it now. Thank you for writing this. :)
Happy Monday Friend
This was beautiful. Thank you.
Ok. My kid is only 3 months old. And this made me tear up. Thanks mama.
Hormones. ;)
Ditto to this. Can’t wait to bake the cakes (etc etc) :)
Beautifully said. Happy birthday Henry.
Loved this! So much. In a world that it’s so easy to compare and compete, the truth is that it doesn’t really matter WHAT we do so long as we are doing something. For us that means spending the kids’ birthdays with them. Taking the day off and just being with them. A special lunch or dinner and cake to celebrate. You are an amazing mama!
And where are those pudgy arms and round cheeks? Oh yeah…he turned SEVEN…so wrong!
I just love this! Kids do remember these things years later. There are days when I’m tired and don’t feel like doing certain things, but then I have to remember that they’re only small this one time. And they do appreciate things in their own way, even if it doesn’t feel that way at the time.
This made me teary-eyed as well. Being a mom is a profession in itself, I believe. And at the end of the day, no matter how tired we are, there is always that very rewarding feeling of happiness and love. By the way, have you tried baking a cake inside an ice cream cone?
My mom makes delicious cakes on my birthday. Its taste is awesome. My entire friend has taken more enjoyment in my birthday. Thanks for sharing this article.