Yeah, yeah. I know.
A day late, {lots of} dollars short.
No bad reason for being late, really.
Slept in (meaning I woke up at 6:30), and never had a chance to get back to a computer for long enough. Sure, I checked this or that, but not enough to write a post.
Because Life is like that sometimes.
And I love this blog. But I love my real life too. Sometimes ya just gotta say “they’ll understand.”
Last weekend, Andy and I had a wedding to go to.
The wedding was no-kids, so we figured we’d take advantage of the opportunity and make a weekend of it.
It was the first time I’d ever been away from Owen overnight. Not to mention two nights.
I really didn’t know what to do with myself. No. Really.
Turns out, what you do is spend five hours at a pub eating greasy food and who knows how many hops infused beverages with your friends.
Andy’s a sleeper. I am not. Even when I’m feeling…shall we say…funny.
So I snuck out of the hotel room and walked across the street to a Starbucks.
And started Divergent.
With rhinestone encrusted flip flops and a fresh mani pedi.
I didn’t miss the chaos of breakfast time, but man, I was missing my kids. Already.
I didn’t get much reading done that morning, but I’ve decided People Watching is my favorite in all the land.
Since my Uniform is yogas and a ribbed tank, I needed something to wear.
I tried shopping for something, but with our limited shopping options (I live in a semi-rural area), I didn’t find anything close to loving. Besides, even the dresses I didn’t hate would have cost me $150+. To wear once. Maybe twice.
A friend told me about Rent the Runway. FABULOUS. I wish I had invented it. And since I didn’t, I’ll just proclaim my love from the rooftops instead. It’s super simple: you pick out a designer dress (in this case a $900 Badgley Mischka sequin number) and literally rent it for 4 (or 8) days. They overnight you two sizes of the same dress (brilliant, yes?), you wear it, put it back in the pre-labeled UPS bubble mailer and send it back. The end.
{When I rented the dress, it was listed retail at $895 and I rented it for $75…minus a $25 coupon code…so $50! It must have since gone down in price…maybe it’s officially from “last season”? Either way, still way cheaper and EASIER than buying something.}
I decided that a no kid, evening wedding ON Pebble Beach Golf Course warranted sequin. Actually, everything warrants sparkle. So whatever.
I even bought new shoes and big, fabulous accessories. Because obviously.
Turns out, the zipper was broken. I had tried the dress on at home, but reviews on the dress had said the zipper was really hard to do, so to be patient and be sure to have someone to help. When I tried on the dress beforehand, Andy was at work, and when the zipper stopped abruptly, I didn’t think anything of it. I just figured this was what the reviewers were talking about. (By the way, one of my favorite features of the site is being able to see customer photos. Then you can get a better sense of what the dress looks like on Not a 6′ Tall Model.)
Fast forward to 8 minutes before we have to leave. I’ve done my make up and hair and the dress is the last thing to slip on.
Andy and a friend literally dripping sweat trying to zip me up. Turns out the zipper was sewn in funky and it was twisted.
Luckily, I had grabbed a second cocktail dress from my closet on a whim, in case we went to a nice dinner another night…so I wore that. Had I not grabbed the red one on my way out the door, I would have been stuck at the hotel because my next “nicest” outfit was jeans and a sweater. STRESS.
{Rent the Runway was AMAZING. I called them to explain, and without even asking, they immediately gave me a full refund AND a $100 credit. My zipper experience was a manufacturing defect/fluke, so I still feel super comfortable recommending them. In fact, their great customer service makes me even more confident.}
P.S. If you rent a dress using this link, we’ll both get a $20 credit once you place an order. So, if you’re planning on doing it, I’d like to rent that sparkle number again. And wear it to the skate park. Because Life.
Y’all.
I’m not rich enough to know what to do with this.
It’s a quail. A teeny, tiny, itty, bitty quail. Whole. Lying there all legs spread with a little blanket of leaves for modesty. On my plate. And precisely 1.5 grapes.
SO. MANY. FORKS.
For the record, this was the first of a several course meal. All artfully arranged.
And then I was all “Where’s the chili cheese fries?”
It was a fun experience. Different.
I like my simple life better.
Maybe more sequin though.
My little-taller-than-me sister and cousin Tess were rockstars and stayed at our house for the weekend to wrangle the crazies.
At several points during the weekend, I would text “Quick. Send me a pic.”
And my phone would ding, and one of these faces would fill the screen.
And my mama heart would swoon and ache and then I’d have another glass of wine.
Monterey is an interesting town.
I belly laughed watching these seals.
I could get down with this lifestyle. Sunning myself on a raft all day. A layer of fat around my middle not only acceptable, but necessary.
Dear God, I don’t believe in reincarnation, but in case I’m wrong, send me back as a Monterey Bay seal. Love, -j.
Henry continues to work hard for his skateboard competitions.
I’ve actually been really surprised at how well he does. I figured this was more an exercise in character, than it was about my floor actually looking clean. Turns out, he did a pretty good job.
Hmmmmm….
Time outs happen.
Not sure they are super effective, but they make for great pictures.
And somedays, I gotta take what I can get.
So many things to say about this boy.
But a sweeter, kinder, gentler spirit you won’t find.
We went on a date. To McDonald’s. His pick. But he held the door open for me. And got the food tray when our order was ready.
Some girl is going to be very lucky someday.
If she gets past the mama bear, that is.
First off: Jill opened the door for him. Naughty.
Secondly: He stood there licking the glass. Naughty.
For like 5 minutes. Naughty.
If anyone EVER asks me what I do all day again, I’m gonna stab them with that fabulous heel I wore last weekend.
*not a sponsored post, but I did use RTR affiliate links. Because why not.
Oh my word, I LOVE your posts! Your candidness and humor crack me up!!! I love it all! :) I’m more about the simple life too, pass me some of those chili-cheese fries! ;)
Amanda´s last blog post ..Little Home, Big Life
You are the smartest woman ever. :)
Katie´s last blog post ..Fast Friday: Confessions!
Those faces are to die for! I love when my girls send pics/videos of my grandsons. Melt this grandma’s heart. I still say I’m too young to be a grandma. haha. And Jilly and Naughty Porkchop… what a duo. Will keep you on my prayer list. But you and Andy are doing a great job. love and hugs
Robbin Mote´s last blog post ..SUNDAY HOPE
This is probably the funniest post I’ve ever read!
I think my life needs more sequin too! I have an awesome sparkly dress from White House Black Market that I spent a fortune on my 30th birthday & some AMAZING rhinestone shoes. Worth.every.penny. I only turn 30 once!!
Hope you’ve had a good weekend!!!
Kate @ Project Hermosa´s last blog post ..Find Your Beauty
Oh my goodness. I’m sitting here all near tears over the sweetness of your boy holding the door open for you and then I scroll down to glass licking and I cannot stop laughing. The contrast is amazing and I love it so much.
Rachel´s last blog post ..Insta{Sunday} + Miscellany
I cannot sing Rent The Runway’s praises enough. Such a great concept and they helped me out in a pinch last year when I needed a dress for a trip. I love how they send you 2 sizes of the dress.
Celeste´s last blog post ..Sunday Shorts for 4/6: A Possible Puppy, Snoop Dogg, The Death of a Foot, and more
Those seals are awesome. So funny! So glad I could link up this week (and yes, I may have stalked your page all day on Friday). :) xo