I don’t play games.

I’m taking a bloggity break this week to enjoy the holidays with my family.  In the meantime, I thought it would be fun to re-publish a few of my older posts just to keep this space fresh through my self-imposed vacation.  

No, really.

I don’t.

I don’t mean that in a sassy, hand on my hip “I don’t play games” way.

I mean that I *literally* don’t play games.

I have friends who ACTUALLY play Parcheesi with their husbands after the kids have gone to bed.

Parcheesi!

I don’t even know what that IS!

And frankly, I have ZERO intention of finding out.

Other friends tell tales of playing cards with their spouses.

Often.

I’d rather clean my toilets than play a game.  For real.

In fact, it is a hard and fast rule that I will not, under any circumstances, play Monopoly with my husband.

We would be divorced.

Not kidding.

I played with him once.  Once.  Never again.  The stress.  The competition.  The rules are consulted on the regular to insure no corners are cut.  It is vein-in-the-side-of-your-neck-popping intense.

I believe there are two kinds of people in this world:

  1. Game Players.
  2. And the Rest of Us.

The thing I’ve learned about these two types of people is that they generally don’t understand each other’s camp.

Game Players don’t get why I don’t ENJOY playing games.

They think I must not have played a GOOD game.

They just ITCH to show me.

It stresses them out!!!

They can hardly sit still they are so anxious!

They know this FABULOUSLY FUN game.

They want to convert me.

They are CONVINCED they can do it.

Positive in fact, if I would just play with them!

I must have played with the “wrong” people.

You’re right I did play with the “wrong” people.

I played with Game Players.

As I continue to decline their offers, they move along to psychoanalyzing me.

They assume that I must not know the game.

Or that I’m bad at it.

Or maybe I’m not that smart.  The rules are too hard?

And they give you a bad time about it.

“Come on Jeannett!  Don’t sit over there reading a book!  Don’t be a spoil sport!  We’ll TEACH YOU HOW! It’ll be FUN!”

No.

Fun would be me sitting here quietly enjoying this celebrity trash magazine.

Playing Hearts or Checkers or Parcheesi is not, in fact, fun.

As for not being good at it…that might be true.

But I’m positively bored playing games.

To tears.

Oh how offensive this can be to Game Players!

Appalled!

They don’t get it!

Annoyed!

I also hate mini golf and downright DESPISE bowling.  Despise.  Puzzles are quite possibly the worst invention of all inventions ever.  And Las Vegas is a yawnfest when you realize that gambling is just a bunch of dumb games that actually COST YOU MONEY.

Don’t even get me started on Fantasy Football.  A game that spans several weeks…HOURS of your time…and you don’t even win a prize.  Kill me.

A few weeks back, I met a kindred spirit.

Another Non-Gamer.

Actually, I’ve known Joy for years, but while at a weekend away with her and a whole HOST of Game Players…

we bonded.

We would devise these little plans: she would sneak out of the room quietly…and I would follow a few minutes later.

Stealth.

Like little Ninjas.

And we would sit and happily chat.

Until one of Them would realize we were missing.

It was like a panic would take over.

“Come on you guys!  Party Poopers!” they would yell.

Seriously, you have more than enough players.  Just play your silly game you Game Players, you.

So, for the record, here and now:

I don’t like playing games.

I may, or may not, know the rules.

I may, or may not, be good at it.

But I certainly, positively know that you cannot convert me to your Game Playing ways.

It’s okay.

Breathe.

You’re gonna be alright.

Parcheesi awaits. Run along now.

Are you a Game Player? Do Non-Gamers stress you out?

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jeannett
I'm a mom to four. A wife to one. I believe in story. I love telling you about mine and would love to hear yours. There's really no sense in wasting our suffering and not sharing in each other's joy. We're all in this together...even if it doesn't always feel like it.
jeannett

Comments

  1. 1

    Finally! Someone else! I thought I was the only one – I can be persuaded to play monopoly sometimes, but then I get bored. I would much rather chat or read!

    I don’t like rides either – the idea of voluntarily going on a rollercoaster makes me want to hurl. They have a ride here for Christmas called the Skyflyer, which is basically chairs spinning above the skyscrapers – it is terrifying!

  2. 2

    I’m not a game player either! My aunt definitely is, and sometimes it is fun, but in general, I am not a game player.
    Katie´s last blog post ..Maximizing Your Holiday Time

  3. 3

    I told my in-laws last night I would rather clean toilets than do a puzzle!! I play some games… But I honestly would rather read. Or chat. Or sleep haha. I am right there with you!

  4. 4

    Sticking my neck out at risk…not the game… I like games OK. with the right people. Some are soooo intense it isn’t fun. I like a good game of Candy Land with my littlest, the look on his face, the giggles, hugs, yeah. SO worth sitting in Molassass Swamp for half hour. My mother and I still enjoy a game of Scrabble together (something passed down from HER mother) which is best played with coffee and good chocolates.

    And dare I say… I LOVE puzzles, there is always a puzzle out on the table. As a kid my mother was often doing a puzzle and now, if I sit down I am likely to get a kiddo or two or four to come sit and chat. Bonding. Some people call it puzzle-doing but here it is bonding.

    the right game, the right puzzle, the right people. LOVE IT!! The go-for-the-kill intense players… Pass me my reading glasses and a book, please.

  5. 5

    I like games but loathe any that involve any sort of acting or pretending, no thanks. I do have an affinity for Rpg video games though but being a mom I have no time for them.
    Emily´s last blog post ..Ramblings of a Mom of 2

  6. 6

    I love playing games, but if you don’t want too I understand. I can’t play with certain people. I have learned that there are different types of game players. My brother sits in the camp of people who have to win, even if they have to cheat. He can’t be a team player. Even if you are playing a game that requires cooperation.
    I like to play and am ok with losing… unless.. I lose all the time. I just don’t have any fun after a certain number of losses. I have better things to do than sit and lose. I have friends who play bingo every week. It’s like an addiction. I lose every game and they don’t understand why I quit playing.

  7. 7

    Our family is big on playing games which is odd since my family never really played games as kids. We have tons of board games, and card games. In fact last night my husband and I both received new games for Christmas. His was “Give me the brain” and mine was “Crappy Birthday”. We opened our new games right up and played them with my family. My entire family was laughing our butts off as we played Crappy Birthday, we played it multiple games, this included my Mom who’s in her 50′s, my hubby and I both in our thirties, my brother in his twenties, and my nine year old and six year old. Now when you can find a fun game that all those age groups can enjoy you know you have a winner. Hubby and I also host game nights with our friends every couple of months or so. We’re the game players, and we love it. You don’t want to play the game that’s o.k. too, we’ll play without you. To each their own but I would hands down want to play a game with my hubby or friends than clean the toilet’s any day of the week. =P

  8. 8

    i am not a “game person” either, and my husband is one BIG TIME. thanks for this post–i finally was able to show him that (a) I’m not totally crazy, and (b) it’s okay that he’s a game player and i’m just NOT.
    b @ then there was we´s last blog post ..merry christmas!