By now, most of you are irrevocably addicted to Pinterest…right?
(Oh please say yes!)
I love me some happy inspiration and Pinterest more than satisfies my I’m-bored-and-I-have-a-few-minutes-on-the-computer-to-surf-mindlessly itch.
Sometimes, I want to scream at my computer. Pull out my hair. Or just die laughing at the craziness.
Now, if you’ve been on the internet at all, you know that it has somehow coaxed all of the weirdos from their foxholes and made them all feel normal.
So they share random things like hot pink wigs made out of crocheted yarn, or reusable (fabric) toilet paper, or weird cookie cutters shaped like fetus’. There’s even an entire website dedicated to making fun of the crazy on Pinterest. Appropriately named Pinterest You Are Drunk. (You can find all of those examples listed there.)
But there’s something more head-scratching to me lurking innocently amid my more normal crafty pins…you see, I get that there are really…um, interesting people out there. Some of them are just making their “art”, some are “expressing themselves”, and some are just really mad at their parents even though enough time has passed so they should probably just get over it by now.
What kills me on Pinterest are the things that on the surface seem fairly normal or fun or cool…but when you really stop to look at them, you think…SERIOUSLY PEOPLE?! YOU WANT TO TRY THAT?!
I mean, I’m all about getting my Crafty Pants on too…I’ve been known to throw a fairly detailed themed baby shower…and I make my own laundry detergent. These things are all true. BUT. At some point, enough is enough folks! Go ahead and be industrious. Make stuff from scratch. Upcycle or whatever the term is. Handmade rocks. I heart it.
But there is a limit. It is real. It exists.
Finally, I created a board called “I’d Rather Jump Off A Bridge Than Do This“.
Not for the really obvious stuff that is ultra bizzare, that’s just weird…but the stuff that gets pinned and re-pinned as if it is a good idea and something someone totally wants to try.
(I realize that some of you may disagree with my assessments here, but that’s okay.)
Here are some examples:
Now, this might seem like a clever idea on the surface. I mean, let’s save some money and reuse stuff, right?
Except that…I mean, really…at some point…you can buy a REAL watering can at the Walmarts for $1.88.
And there is no work involved. (I have a feeling that poking holes in that lid is harder than it looks…)
And you can recycle the plastic jug.
Okay, so this one’s pretty, right?
Totally. I actually love it.
But can we get real for a minute here? Please?
You do realize that unless you have the STEADIEST of hands, and a pretty artsy self…this is going to be a complete and utter disaster, right?
The average person cannot just stop at Rite Aid for a white Sharpie and design on a vertical, non-flat, ultra shiny and smooth surface like this.
Because you know what happens when the average mama tries this?
She has to buy new turquoise lamps.
Because she threw this one against the wall after 15 minutes.
Let me get this straight: you are going to rinse out a sticky Gatorade bottle, hacksaw it apart, and then use it to close up a plastic bag?
I have two words for you: CHIP and CLIP.
Or just eat the rest of the chocolate chips with a jar of peanut butter like normal people. (And please tell me what recipe you know of that only calls for half a bag?!)
No. Just no.
I don’t really need to get into this…but seriously…imagine your kids traipsing through the house on the way to the shower.
Now, I know that some of you love this.
It’s all cute and pastely and eastery.
Look, it’s already an egg.
That’s plenty of springy on its own.
Food coloring is gross. Try to refrain. There’s plenty of other opportunities to get your pink and green on.
Okay, so I’m all about fun themed parties.
I’ve been known to re-wrap water bottles with coordinating scrapbook paper to make it all festive and such.
But there comes a time when perhaps the matchy matchyness should end.
And tying your hot dog buns together with twine and fabric is a good start.
Because you realize this means that you’re serving up cold hot dogs, right?
Cold pizza is one thing…but cold hot dogs are not okay. Even if they’re cute.
And twine is weird…I feel like I’d be picking little slivers of twine and bits of thread out of my ketchup…
This is another pin that sounds like a fabulous idea on the surface.
But do you know what will inevitably happen here?
You know how you cross your right leg over your left and when you have extra cute shoes on you can’t help but kinda bounce your foot up and down and sorta roll your ankle in circles…kinda like the foot “look at me!” equivalent to how newly engaged girls suddenly use their left hands an AWFUL lot?
Okay, so you’ll be doing this with your fun new shoes you reupholstered…and the fabric and glue is gonna start coming undone along the bottom…you know, where it bends and rubs against the CONCRETE ALL DAY…and instead of people checking out your fabulous new houndstooth pumps, they’re wondering why they are peeling like a snake shedding its skin.
And instead of looking all cool and hip, you’ll look like a cheap fool who didn’t just throw the old 1987 pumps away when the rest of us did.
There are just certain things that have no business with the letters DIY before them.
Waxing your most sensitive regions with a homemade concoction is one of them.
This is a bad sitcom episode waiting to happen.
This one got pinned and repinned like a BEAST.
It was everywhere.
Apparently Pinterest users have a problem with keeping their bathrooms springtime fresh. And apparently they’ve never heard of a Glade Plug-In either.
But perhaps they forgot that LIQUID PERFUMED OIL can seep through thin cardboard tubes and right onto the actual toilet paper you use to wipe your most sensitive regions.
Combined with the DIY Sugaring above, this could make for quite the rash.
And the best laugh the docs at the ER will have all year.
“But I was just trying to be crafty and DIYesque!!!”
But do you see what I mean?
These are things that get repinned in all seriousness. They’re not meant to be quirky or artsy or just plain weird. And I watch them pop up in my feed like it’s all normal and something to be tried.
And it’s not.
Wear your Crafty Pants girls! Recycle, Reuse, and Reduce! Skip the big box store and be all handmade-y! Yes! Please! I love it!
Just don’t be dumb about it.