Heavenly Perspective – Cari {infant loss/miscarriage}

Cari is a reader who contacted me recently about sharing her story.
A story that killed me.
A testimony that made me wonder how strong my own faith is.
Cari’s lovely gorgeous amazingly beautiful little girl is in Heaven.  You can read more here.
Cari’s post is part of a series here at Life.Rearranged on infant loss/miscarriage.
Women from around the blogosphere are sharing their hearts to encourage others in their own journeys.
Helping one another through story…helping with the hard process of healing…helping others get to the place where they can see hope and beauty and love again.
If you know someone who could use the encouragment…that it’s a hard hard road to walk…but that God is still there through it all…please share the series with them.
Because sometimes you just need to feel like you’re not the only one going through it.

* * * *
She was, in one word, delightful. But I cannot just stop at one word. She was beautiful, and pleasant. Giggly, warm and soft. She was snuggly and squishy and… in my mind, perfect. She had this way of smiling that started in her eyes. Her eyes would sparkle and twinkle and you knew it was coming… that smile… she could win anyone over with that smile.
Caden was pure joy.
I miss her smile… her twinkly, sparkly eyes…so much.
Her brothers have her eyes.
It is wonderful.
It breaks my heart.
They are both younger then Caden… and forever older. She was our first. Our only girl. Sometimes I look around my life and see what might have been. The pink, the hair bows, the dresses…
It hurts to know some people will never know me as a mother to a daughter. They look and see blue, trucks and dirt and footballs, never to understand that the first time I became a mommy… it was to a soft, wonderful baby girl.
Her life forever changed me.
Her death forever changed me.
Although her death brought hurt, pain and struggles, it brought so much more. Caden’s death brought hope. The wisdom and knowledge in my God gained since then is irreplaceable. Even the pain has brought something that I do not think I could have obtained otherwise…perspective. A heavenly one. Hope for the future that wouldn’t be quite as intense, faith as an every day companion like never before. The crows feet, brought on by the weight of this life may be more pronounced, but hopefully so is my reliance on the One who knows and understands the ache…
Although each day that dawns is one more day without her. It is also one more day closer to seeing her again.
The next time I see my Caden, we will never have to part.
1 Thessalonians 4:16-18
For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.
Then we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we shall always be with the Lord.
Therefore comfort one another with these words.

* * * *

In conjunction with the series on infant loss/miscarriage, we are also hosting a fundraiser benefitting the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Foundation.

NILMDTS offers free professional photography to families grieving the loss of a babe.

I will never know how NILMDTS photographers find the courage to walk into those hospitals rooms.

Their bravery is to be envied.

Help support a Foundation that will provide irreplacable images that will become family heirlooms.

Please help us reach our goal…just $1 at a time.

Don’t assume everyone else reading will give.

We have raised $835 so far…can you help us get to $1,000 this week????!!!!

 

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jeannett
I'm a mom to four. A wife to one. I believe in story. I love telling you about mine and would love to hear yours. There's really no sense in wasting our suffering and not sharing in each other's joy. We're all in this together...even if it doesn't always feel like it.
jeannett
jeannett

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Comments

  1. 1

    praise HIM! what a story-thanks for sharing.
    hannah´s last blog post ..ivy lane sweet niece

  2. 2

    She was beautiful.
    Wendy Hagen´s last blog post ..Mothers Day Giveaway – Bless Your Mom

  3. 3

    Wow! Heartbreaking & beautiful.
    erin´s last blog post ..My Memory Fails Me

  4. 4

    What a beautiful text!!!
    I´ve been through another kind of loss: my husband. My loved loving young husband. The father of my 2 little ones. It´s another kind of road noone wants to walk too…

    But God has given me strengh to pass throug the worst moment of my life. And love. And hope. And smiles.

    Beautiful said about “one more day is another day without her but one day CLOSER

    If you have time, please, use 5 minutes and read it:
    http://diariodos3mosqueteiros.blogspot.com/2010/07/jan10-como-falar-certas-coisas-para.html

    There is an English version.

    Kisses and blessings.
    Mirys
    Mirys´s last blog post ..Mamarazzi Week – maio-2011