I have a love/hate relationship with my blog.
I often wonder what on EARTH I’m doing.
I get so many emails, from so many readers, sharing their hearts and their stories, and I often feel so ill equipped.
What do I say?
How do I respond?
What’s the right word of encouragement here?
I’m not worthy of harboring all of these soul stories!
And I wonder if I’m just the “Sad Story Blog”.
Because I SOOOO don’t want to be that.
Besides, what on EARTH do I think I’m doing here??? In this little blog space???
Well, I get an email like this.
And it makes me stop dead in my tracks.
And I scold myself for complaining about following the leading.
Hi Jeannett! I just wanted to say thank you to you, honestly I should have done it a while ago. Back in December you did a post for sweet little Cliff and trying to find him a family. I followed that story faithfully, we donated to his fund and now rejoice in following his new found family working hard to bring him home! But in the process of following Cliff’s story I started visiting Reece’s Rainbow everyday to check on other children and each day the Lord kept tugging at my heart. Long story short, we are in the process of adopting a little boy with Down Syndrome from Reece’s Rainbow and are so excited! Thank you for sharing Cliff’s story, if it wasn’t for you blogging about him I might never have found my son. :) Thank you for being sensitive to the Lord’s leading. You were used more than you know.
I know, right?!
It’s SO totally a God thing.
And so, my point of this post is to say to you two things:
1) YOUR PORTION MATTERS. I regularly question if little ol’ me, at my little ol’ laptop, with my three kids noisely running circles around has any business whatsoever fundraising or talking about God. I have no degree in Theology! I don’t know a THING about marketing! I’m not qualified for any of this! I sin! All the time! I suck at praying! I’ve never read the Bible cover to cover! I should just stop now. I’m not cut out for this. None of this matters. If I closed up shop today…never hit publish again…everyone would move on and life would continue just fine without me. And really, that’s totally true. I’m not a critical cog in the fine tuning of the Earth’s gravitational forces. I’m vain, but I’m not that vain. ;)
BUT, it doesn’t mean that my portion is too small to matter. It may not change the world. It may not make the cover of Newsweek. But it still matters. And so does yours. Don’t short sell yourself. We all have value. And God wants to use that value. In ways you never knew possible. For the record, I wrote those last sentences mostly for me. But for you too. Because I know you probably do it to yourself too, right? You’re not enough. You’re not worthy. What you do doesn’t really matter so why waste the time? LIES, people! LIES!!! (I have SOOOO much to say about this. Another day another post.)
2) BE OBEDIENT EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO BE. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO BE. This might surprise you, but I was terrified starting Life.Rearranged. My vanity on full display as I thought about what a PUBLIC failure it would be if it fell flat on its face. I tossed and turned wondering if I was crazy. Why did I even care so much? Why not just NOT blog? I mean, really?! I questioned the whole point. I questioned why I would spend the time. The money. The emotional energy. I agonized over the Cliff fundraiser. And the truth is that I should have known that the depths of my doubt were in direct correlation to how fast I should run headfirst into the venture. I could have ignored the idea and not done it. Life would have gone on. But I would have missed out. Dearly.
I want you to know that Danielle sent me that email about a week ago. I was SO excited. I shared it with a few friends and family. When they asked if I was going to share it on my blog, the answer was a shrill “NO WAY!!!”
Because I don’t want you to for ONE SECOND see my sharing of this as being about ME.
I don’t want to shift the focus.
I don’t want you to see this as braggy or self-congratulatory.
I want you to see GOD’S work in this 21st Century space.
Because I knew you guys would be so excited to know that another Reece’s Rainbow babe is going home soon.
And while I was terrified of making it about ME…I also didn’t want to miss the opportunity to show you God’s glory either.
And with all of that, I want to share one last thing with you…kay?
Danielle is hosting the giveaway to trump all giveaways on her blog…um, did someone say iPad2???
Oh yes, yes she did.
Go visit Danielle. Support Sergey. Even if it’s only $1 (remember point 1 up there? re-read it. maybe twice.).
Win an iPad maybe. And then send it to me.