I have a love/hate relationship with my blog.
I often wonder what on EARTH I’m doing.
I get so many emails, from so many readers, sharing their hearts and their stories, and I often feel so ill equipped.
What do I say?
How do I respond?
What’s the right word of encouragement here?
I’m not worthy of harboring all of these soul stories!
And I wonder if I’m just the “Sad Story Blog”.
Because I SOOOO don’t want to be that.
Besides, what on EARTH do I think I’m doing here??? In this little blog space???
And then…
Well, I get an email like this.
And it makes me stop dead in my tracks.
And I scold myself for complaining about following the leading.
Hi Jeannett! I just wanted to say thank you to you, honestly I should have done it a while ago. Back in December you did a post for sweet little Cliff and trying to find him a family. I followed that story faithfully, we donated to his fund and now rejoice in following his new found family working hard to bring him home! But in the process of following Cliff’s story I started visiting Reece’s Rainbow everyday to check on other children and each day the Lord kept tugging at my heart. Long story short, we are in the process of adopting a little boy with Down Syndrome from Reece’s Rainbow and are so excited! Thank you for sharing Cliff’s story, if it wasn’t for you blogging about him I might never have found my son. :) Thank you for being sensitive to the Lord’s leading. You were used more than you know.
In Him,
Danielle
I know, right?!
It’s insane!
It’s crazy!
It’s SO totally a God thing.
No doubt.
And so, my point of this post is to say to you two things:
1) YOUR PORTION MATTERS. I regularly question if little ol’ me, at my little ol’ laptop, with my three kids noisely running circles around has any business whatsoever fundraising or talking about God. I have no degree in Theology! I don’t know a THING about marketing! I’m not qualified for any of this! I sin! All the time! I suck at praying! I’ve never read the Bible cover to cover! I should just stop now. I’m not cut out for this. None of this matters. If I closed up shop today…never hit publish again…everyone would move on and life would continue just fine without me. And really, that’s totally true. I’m not a critical cog in the fine tuning of the Earth’s gravitational forces. I’m vain, but I’m not that vain. ;)
BUT, it doesn’t mean that my portion is too small to matter. It may not change the world. It may not make the cover of Newsweek. But it still matters. And so does yours. Don’t short sell yourself. We all have value. And God wants to use that value. In ways you never knew possible. For the record, I wrote those last sentences mostly for me. But for you too. Because I know you probably do it to yourself too, right? You’re not enough. You’re not worthy. What you do doesn’t really matter so why waste the time? LIES, people! LIES!!! (I have SOOOO much to say about this. Another day another post.)
2) BE OBEDIENT EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO BE. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO BE. This might surprise you, but I was terrified starting Life.Rearranged. My vanity on full display as I thought about what a PUBLIC failure it would be if it fell flat on its face. I tossed and turned wondering if I was crazy. Why did I even care so much? Why not just NOT blog? I mean, really?! I questioned the whole point. I questioned why I would spend the time. The money. The emotional energy. I agonized over the Cliff fundraiser. And the truth is that I should have known that the depths of my doubt were in direct correlation to how fast I should run headfirst into the venture. I could have ignored the idea and not done it. Life would have gone on. But I would have missed out. Dearly.
I want you to know that Danielle sent me that email about a week ago. I was SO excited. I shared it with a few friends and family. When they asked if I was going to share it on my blog, the answer was a shrill “NO WAY!!!”
Why?
Because I don’t want you to for ONE SECOND see my sharing of this as being about ME.
I don’t want to shift the focus.
I don’t want you to see this as braggy or self-congratulatory.
I want you to see GOD’S work in this 21st Century space.
Because I knew you guys would be so excited to know that another Reece’s Rainbow babe is going home soon.
And while I was terrified of making it about ME…I also didn’t want to miss the opportunity to show you God’s glory either.
And with all of that, I want to share one last thing with you…kay?
Danielle is hosting the giveaway to trump all giveaways on her blog…um, did someone say iPad2???
Oh yes, yes she did.
Go visit Danielle. Support Sergey. Even if it’s only $1 (remember point 1 up there? re-read it. maybe twice.).
Win an iPad maybe. And then send it to me.
Kidding.
Kind of.
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That is so amazing! Praise God! And though I don’t often comment, I am a regular reader and follower. Praise God for you!!!
tina´s last blog post ..whatnot wednesdays
I love, love, love your blog. You are a wonderful writer and you bring enjoyment to my little world!
chills. i love this. you are doing so much sharing these stories. you are making HIS story known.
danielle´s last blog post ..embrace it
AMEN! what a testimony! press on, this blog is a blessing!! xo
hannah´s last blog post ..easter egg box via draw!pilgrim
I was having a conversation with a girl from my church a few weeks ago. I was telling her that God’s people need to be more open and honest. Everyone walks around like everything is hunky dory and never really share what they’ve been through or what they are going through. We are all so afraid of being judged and we feel this pressure to be the “perfect Christian”. I believe if we were to be more open about our weaknesses, our faults, our valleys, our struggles there could be a lot of healing.
I love when you have your moments of honesty. I’m right there with you on not being a great prayer or reading the Bible cover to cover. But I know God loves me and I know He sent a perfect gift to cover all those faults and weaknesses.
I agree with Danielle, I think God uses you more than you realize. I discovered Reece’s Rainbow thorough your blog (through Adeye’s posting) and I have such a heart for those children now. I’m not in a position to adopt, but I’ve donated what I can to a few families. I follow Reece’s site and rejoice when I see a child has found a forever family. I would have never known about that world without your blog. So for that, thank you.
Awesome. I was just at a Beth Moore conference (cough:: self-righteous-name-and-event-dropping::cough) and she made a point that for every purpose God has in our lives, Satan would like to take that and point us in another direction entirely. That’s why it’s so awesome that you didn’t give into the lies or fear, AND that’s why it is SO important that you tell us this story! Yay, God! Yay,Jeannett! Yay, Cliffy! Yay, Danielle!
Just wanted to say thank you.
Devin
Such an awesome, uplifting, and TRUE post. Thank you for writing this!
Sarah´s last blog post ..Happiest of Birthdays
i understand you so well.
so well.
and i am so excited to have sergey get his mama.
forever.
meg duerksen´s last blog post ..the prom
That’s the thing about this parallel universe. You never, ever, ever know the impact you’re having…sometimes you hear about it (like you’ve mentioned here), but for every one person who “speaks” there are probably countless others who remain silent.
Fantastic reminder (and WAHOOOO! for how God is using you in this space!!).
Robin ~ PENSIEVE´s last blog post ..Hard Love