I don’t mean that in a sassy, hand on my hip “I don’t play games” way.
I mean that I *literally* don’t play games.
I have friends who ACTUALLY play Parcheesi with their husbands after the kids have gone to bed.
I don’t even know what that IS!
And frankly, I have ZERO intention of finding out.
Other friends tell tales of playing cards with their spouses.
I’d rather clean my toilets than play a game. For real.
In fact, it is a hard and fast rule that I will not, under any circumstances, play Monopoly with my husband.
We would be divorced.
I played with him once. Once. Never again.
I believe there are two kinds of people in this world:
And the Rest of Us.
The thing I’ve learned about these two types of people is that they generally don’t understand each other’s camp.
Game Players don’t get why I don’t ENJOY playing games.
They think I must not have played a GOOD game.
They just ITCH to show me.
It stresses them out!!!
They can hardly sit still they are so anxious!
They know this FABULOUSLY FUN game.
They want to convert me.
They are CONVINCED they can do it.
Positive in fact, if I would just play with them!
I must have played with the “wrong” people.
You’re right I did play with the “wrong” people.
I played with Game Players.
As I continue to decline their offers, they move along to psychoanalyzing me.
They assume that I must not know the game.
Or that I’m bad at it.
Or maybe I’m not that smart. The rules are too hard?
And they give you a bad time about it.
“Come on Jeannett! Don’t sit over there reading a book! Don’t be a spoil sport!We’ll TEACH YOU HOW! It’ll be FUN!”
Fun would be me sitting here quietly enjoying this celebrity trash magazine.
Playing Hearts or Checkers or Parcheesi is not, in fact, fun.
As for not being good at it…that might be true.
But I’m positively bored playing games.
I’m not exactly going to spend a lot of energy on it.
Oh how offensive this can be to Game Players!
They don’t get it!
I also hate mini golf and downright DESPISE bowling. Despise.
A few weeks back, I met a kindred spirit.
Actually, I’ve known Joy for years, but while at a weekend away with her and a whole HOST of Game Players…
We would devise these little plans: she would sneak out of the room quietly…and I would follow a few minutes later.
Like little Ninjas.
And we would sit and happily chat.
Until one of Them would realize we were missing.
It was like a panic would take over.
“Come on you guys! Party Poopers!” they would yell.
Seriously, you have more than enough players. Just play your silly game you Game Players, you.
So, for the record, here and now:
I don’t like playing games.
I may, or may not, know the rules.
I may, or may not, be good at it.
But I certainly, positively know that you cannot convert me to your Game Playing ways.
You’re gonna be alright.
Parcheesi awaits. Run along now.
Are you a Game Player? Do Non-Gamers stress you out?
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